I know I have to get a life but when the majority of your conscious day consists of being at work, unless you’re one of the lucky ones that sends other people to work to support you or are wealthy enough to sit at home and do your nails (no, I’m not jealous!), there are a million little pet peeves you encounter.
I am sitting at my desk puzzling over a very difficult problem when all of a sudden I glance up because the Purple Dino-SOUR is unwrapping something. Oh it’s a granola bar. Okay I return to my problem… then I hear chewing. I say ‘sounds like your granola bar is really good!’ A smart ass comment that I hope will get my point across…
Nope! She smiles at me with her Bright Pink (we’ve established this) smile and her wide eyed stare and says ‘It has chocolate chips in it too!’ I say ‘coolio’ and keep working but by this point I’m obsessed with the eating of this granola bar. I look up again and see she is sitting there staring at a piece before putting it in her mouth. I ask ‘were you counting the chocolate chips?’
She smiles again and says ‘I was thinking I should buy more of these because they’re really good!’ Again my vain attempts to be a smart ass FAIL! I have never encountered a person who is so clueless.
It took her 25 minutes to eat this granola bar! How do I know you ask, well… My other co-worker had just gone to lunch and by the time she came back she popped the last little piece of much stared at granola bar in her mouth and said ‘Diddle Dee, I’m going to lunch.’ Okay the “didlde dee” was added by me but when she talks I hear things.
As soon as she leaves I tell my other co-worker what happened, I consider her to be my partner in crime and we can call her “Milton” (from Office Space ‘where’s my stapler’ fame), Milton looks at me and asks ‘was it one of those Quaker granola bars?’ I say ‘that is not the point…’ Milton says ‘I’ve had those Quaker bars and they are really good, did she throw the wrapper in her garbage?’ She proceeded to look through her garbage! YIKES! Who should we rely on to lead this insane asylum? It can’t be me of course because like said…
I hear things!
I am sitting at my desk puzzling over a very difficult problem when all of a sudden I glance up because the Purple Dino-SOUR is unwrapping something. Oh it’s a granola bar. Okay I return to my problem… then I hear chewing. I say ‘sounds like your granola bar is really good!’ A smart ass comment that I hope will get my point across…
Nope! She smiles at me with her Bright Pink (we’ve established this) smile and her wide eyed stare and says ‘It has chocolate chips in it too!’ I say ‘coolio’ and keep working but by this point I’m obsessed with the eating of this granola bar. I look up again and see she is sitting there staring at a piece before putting it in her mouth. I ask ‘were you counting the chocolate chips?’
She smiles again and says ‘I was thinking I should buy more of these because they’re really good!’ Again my vain attempts to be a smart ass FAIL! I have never encountered a person who is so clueless.
It took her 25 minutes to eat this granola bar! How do I know you ask, well… My other co-worker had just gone to lunch and by the time she came back she popped the last little piece of much stared at granola bar in her mouth and said ‘Diddle Dee, I’m going to lunch.’ Okay the “didlde dee” was added by me but when she talks I hear things.
As soon as she leaves I tell my other co-worker what happened, I consider her to be my partner in crime and we can call her “Milton” (from Office Space ‘where’s my stapler’ fame), Milton looks at me and asks ‘was it one of those Quaker granola bars?’ I say ‘that is not the point…’ Milton says ‘I’ve had those Quaker bars and they are really good, did she throw the wrapper in her garbage?’ She proceeded to look through her garbage! YIKES! Who should we rely on to lead this insane asylum? It can’t be me of course because like said…
I hear things!
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