Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Well shiver me timbers and blow me down! (That Popeye was such a perv!)

Sometimes things happen that make you wonder how you'll be able to find an ounce of humor in that specific situation.

You sit at your desk and you cock your head to the side thinking “well, maybe this is one of those ‘life lessons everyone is always blathering on about” then you shift in your chair because the slight unevenness of the floor is making you lopsided and you really need to brood over the recent events. Being distracted by one butt cheek being higher than the other is unacceptable.

After you adjust your sitting position and have a sip of your water, which is now lukewarm because you were too distracted to drink it before, you go back to wondering about life’s injustices.

“Maybe I did something horrible and Karma wanted me to repent for my behavior towards my fellow men/women?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have added those few drops of dish washing soap in the office toilet bowl just to see what fun would ensue?” (All I have to say is BWAHAHAHAHA!!!)

“Maybe I should take Milton seriously when she tells me she tip-toes throw muddy spots when she’s walking to work so as not to create back-splash that will ruin her pants, you know, instead of laughing my ass off?”

“Maybe I shouldn’t have sent a picture of someone I know to my friends and family saying ‘If Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite and Napoleon’s uncle had a baby he would look just like this guy!’?”

“Maybe I should have let my Andy have that last slice of pizza?”

As these things are forming tiny thought bubbles over your head, you realize you have to shift again because the chair has rolled ever so slightly to the divot on the left.

You sadly re-examine your life and wonder if it is finally time for you to change your ways. Yep. Karma is telling you that you must look within/into/onto/over yourself because your evil ways will no longer be tolerated and you will suffer all sorts of repercussions for your actions!

After all, what other rational explanation could there be for your mom having an iPhone before you do?

momsiphone (That contraption is a tortilla maker because my mom rocks!)

And to top it off, you call your spouse and give him the opportunity to be a part of your one person pity party and instead he... or SHE asks how much money you have saved from your allowance to buy your own and when you say $60 they laugh in your ear and suggest you look into toe waxing as a part time job then bites your head off because you’re bothering him eh or HER at work. Granted you’ve done the same to him-her but it’s cute when you do it. His refusal to provide at least an ounce of sympathy has you planning how to best hurt him er, you know, HER when they get home. Then you stop your thoughts in their tracks because you realize this is how your bad karma begins! So really it’s not your fault because there is obviously no way you can control people provoking you into being bad.

Damn you karma and your tunnel vision!!

... ... What were we talking about?

Anyway, here are a couple of pictures of my hair. The pictures do not do the color justice.

new hairdoPlease excuse my puffy face. It was early in the morning, salt, water retention, hangover, you know.

new hair The color this time around is more burgundy than red which is awesome!


  1. Love the hair!!!

  2. Your hair is really cute!

    I'm so sorry about your lack of iphone. I'm sure your mom was going to give it to you. ;-)

    You didn't get any sympathy because you ate the last piece of pizza. That's karma!

  3. No, what sucks is getting an iphone for your husband for his birthday only to separate a few months later! Dam... that could have been MY iphone!! I can say karma is a "bleep", but I don't think I've ever done anything to deserve that... hmmm.

    Love the wild lights!

  4. wow, did your sweet mama one up you or what?

    your hair rocks

  5. Awesome pick on the hair color!!!

  6. so it would be in bad taste to brag about my cool shiny new iphone??

    cool hair!

  7. I can't think straight unless my butt cheeks are even on the seat - it just drives me nuts and causes my sciatica to act up. That makes me sound old...oy.

    I don't have an iPhone but then I don't like being in touch with people all the time.

  8. Amazing hair!
    And I just finally taught my mother how to answer her call waiting on her home phone without hanging up on me. Finally.It's been a loooooong battle. If she got an iphone, it would have to be because she found it lying on the sidewalk somewhere.

  9. Poor Scarlett. I remember when you said you'd never want another phone...

  10. If you gave me an iPhone I'd give it back. I'm not going to pay $1200.00 a YEAR to talk on a phone. I pay $600 already and feel dirty.

    And are they seriously thinking people are so friendless that they're going to PAY in minutes to watch a one hour TV show on a 3 inch screen?

    It's all such bullshit. This is why we're in a recession. We need the newest, biggest better X. Not me, I'd rather save my $$ for something really useless, like designer shoes.

  11. Maybe if your mom is still feeling bad about not going with you to get your hair colored (which is awesome, btw), you can totally use that to your advantage to try and guilt her into getting you your own iPhone!

    Also, if that works, maybe start planting the bug that she has a daughter she doesn't remember having who would also like an iPhone of her own. Then let me know when she picks that one out and I'll send you my address!

  12. So is this a bad time to tell you I'm commenting from my iPhone? Nice hair, by the way.

  13. Yes, my annoying behaviour is always charismatic and amusing. I agree.

    Your mom has an iPhone? Way to go mom!

  14. Now I'm going to have to try the soap in a toilet thing.

  15. Hee on your mommy having an iPhone! Dig the red locks!
    oh, i just got a crackberry and I LOVE it. Probably be a long time until I get something new!

  16. I love me some red hair!

    And, if t makes you feel any better, MY MOM has an iPhone and I don't either! Its very depressing!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.