Okay, I need you all to do me a solid and tie up Mother Nature. I have been dying to start my gardening but the April TORRENTIAL RAIN Showers keep screwing with my head. I can't afford to lose any more of my mind. I'm running on empty as it is.
Picture this.
Friday, I get home from work, after having a fight with OZ, and I was ready for some therapeutic gardening. Instead I had to walk with Andy to pick up his car (which they didn't fix 100% and said "oh, you have to LIFT the door and slam it a couple times until it closes" uhm noooo! how about you fix it right and earn the 3 grand you're charging, assholes?) and by the time we got home it started raining and didn't stop.
Saturday, I was waiting and waiting for OFF! bug body spray to combat the damn chiggers (I know it may not stop the damn chiggers but I was going to put it on anyway) but when it finally arrived, courtesy of my sister, it was pouring.
Sunday, I went outside and danced around the patio admiring the sun, singing some random show tune when a mysterious tiny cloud multiplied and began to emit drops of liquid. But I didn't cry.
Monday, we had dinner and then went to the home improvement store and were cheerfully loading up Andy's work truck with edger brick thingies, stepping stones and drywall thinking we would be able to unload the truck before the rain came. Wrong! There is nothing like slipping and sliding through mud while carrying 40lbs of brick in each hand. My goal was to not go SPLAT!
On a positive note, chiggers don't swim so I'm hoping the rain has diminished the hive/herd/flock/swarm/potato chip.
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I left work early today so I could take Andy's car back to those crazy misfits who "" fixed "" his car since they said it would only take 15 minutes to adjust the back door. I sat in the waiting room, waiting, and when the dude called me to give me the car, he said to me:
Crazy Misfit:
When you go to close the door, you have to slam it shut so it'll close. It's a heavy door. You have to slam it shut. Because it's heavy-
Bee:
Just to be clear, I need to slam it shut? Wait. Stand back because I'm gonna try it. (I open the door and then close it normal-like). Like that you mean? Did I do it right?
I think I passed the test because he gave me the keys. Phew! I'm glad my woman brain didn't get in the way.
Hope the rest of you had a nice dry weekend. But don't tell me about it.
And here I was picturing some huge-ass monster truck...but that?? He is calling that a heavy door???? I think I would have opened the door, asked him to look at something inside, and them slammed him with the door. Then asked how heavy it was.
ReplyDeleteRetard.
Oh and PS - Here it has been sunny and 90+ the past 5 days...
ReplyDeleteI would have scratched my head.....and then told neandrothal man....I think you need to write it down, so I wont forget!!!!jeeeesh. You are a better woman than me. Oh, about the little devil chiggers, if you drown yourself in OFF, they DO stay away.
ReplyDeleteHappy gardening :) My lillies are starting to bud and open!
yes, yes... good thing your woman brain didn't get in the way.
ReplyDeletehaha
my woman brain fell out years ago and i kicked it across some random parking lot while i was skipping merrily.
i haven't been right since.
Nothing like quality service! Only 3 grand, eh?
ReplyDeleteYikes! Drew had to get a new bumper cover-plastic thing that snaps in and out and it was a thousand big ones.
ReplyDeleteplease sir, may I have another?
Today is the first day we've seen sunshine since last Friday, when Mother Nature freaked the hell out and pushed us toward 90 degrees in April. Now it's back down into the 60s. The sun burns me like a vampire today after all the rain.
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of rain, it may drown chiggers, but it breeds mosquitos. Just thought you'd want to know. You probably already know that, though, because you're a smart girl. I'm just telling you, don't take that OFF! for granted.
We did see the sun some this weekend, but it rained a lot....and it is still raining. Still waiting to mulch, so I feel your pain.
ReplyDeleteOkay, you can take our L.A. weather, but it's a package deal that comes with earthquakes, riots, floods, protest marches, fires, and stupid ass celebrities.
ReplyDeleteWe need rain and so naturally it goes to people who don't need it.
ReplyDeleteIt was nice in Arkansas this weekend. We are in for rain all week though. I hate April showers.
ReplyDeleteWe had the damn rain on weekend too. It really sucked. I'm not a fan. Although I do like thunderstorms at night time.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry honey but I'm in Hawaii. ;)
ReplyDeleteMen think I always need help because I'm petite. Boo men!