Wednesday, April 29, 2009

The nuthouse is run by an almond.


I came in to work early today (I know SHOCKING) and found Glynda staring up at the ceiling near one of the exam rooms. I didn’t think anything of it and chalked it up to spider-web searching but then she came into the business office and stared up at the corner near the copy machine. So I jokingly asked “are we being attacked by spiders?” and she responded.

No. I’m just trying to see if I can find any wires or little holes in the ceiling.

Oh? What kind of wires?

I think OZ has this place bugged but I can’t figure out where he would have placed the microphones.

Uhm… You don’t really think he’d go that far, do you? [in the meantime I’m making sure the phones work in case I have to call for those dudes with the straight jackets]

I wouldn’t put it past him. This is why you should never say anything bad about him because he’ll know.

Using that logic, shouldn’t he be storming the building right now? You know, because the jig is up?

Glynda [looking genuinely panicked]:
You’re right! [looks around then sighs] I don’t think he’ll say anything though because then he’ll be confirming what I suspected and have to remove the bugs.

Yeaaaaaah. What brought this on?

You know that account you gave me yesterday? He asked me about it before I even brought it up. That means he must be listening in!

Well, it could be a coincidence—

No. I know he’s listening in!

Bee [I nod my agreement because I don't want her to dismember my body and bury it next to the tulips out front]:
Hmmm maybe we should start looking for nanny cams too…

You think so?

Off she went on a nanny cam hunt.

Last year, she was 100% sure OZ had changed the paint color of his car and was hanging out in the parking lot. He was on vacation. IN EUROPE.

And that lady’s and gents is the office manager at Arkham Asylum.


  1. Isn't that always the case. The lights are on, but noooobody's home.

  2. I'd step carefully, and maybe carry some sort of cosh or mace.

    Yes. Step very carefully, and DO NOT allow yourself to be cornered by her.

    Is she dressing as Napoleon yet?

  3. I think you should make a small hole somewhere and tell her you just found it and make her talk nicely into the hole.

  4. Wow! She is something else. I like Suzy's idea.

  5. so jealous! You work with some hilarious nuts :)

    For her birthday you should get her a wand with a glittery star at the end and little streamers. Tell her when the voices start talking to her she can wave her wand and it will ALL go away. She has to say "theres no place like home" first though. The picture almost made me pee my britches!

  6. yep, suzys on the right track here. this could provide entertainment for us for weeks.

  7. That's funny but it may be even more scary if she's right......

  8. Maybe Oz should bust in and have a chat with Glynda about lost productivity! Then he should wink at her when she gives him the paranoid looks, making her think that yep, there are wires all over the place. Beware if she starts scratching herself and saying she can feel things crawling out of her skin!

  9. AD:
    It's a miracle the office has gone under yet.

    Funny you should ask that because she is super short. ;o)

    ha ha ha!! Maybe I can video tape it too.

    Oddly, she is an awesome nurse but her office manager skills lack sumthin'.

    I wonder if I'm also considered one of the oddballs... nah! ;o)

    ha ha yeah but now I have the mask thing and the fake bug hole thing, am I up for the challenge?

    I wouldn't worry it's true for two reason:
    1-He is lacking in any technological ability, can barely work his voice mail.
    2-He's too cheap to hire someone to do it for him.

    Lost productivity is right! Sometimes, I think I'm the only who works here but then I blog so I guess I'm not. ;o)

  10. Isn't it great talking to crazy people. I am always afraid to do anything for fear that it might set them off on a killing spree. I usually nod my head and back away slowly. Kind of like what you would do if you ran into a bear in the woods.

  11. I would have secretly kept some bugging devices in the desk and then whipped them out and said "like these?". That should freak her out for a week...

  12. LOL well you are certainly always entertained, to say the least...

  13. Check any paintings, photos, plant pots. Especially any that have appeared recently.

  14. Whoa, she sounds scarily like my mother or younger brother...paranoid to the hilt. Freaky.

  15. I left a comment here earlier

    now it's gone

    it was a good one too

  16. "You know, because the jig is up?"

    That made me :D so hard.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.