So, this pig virus…

Have I mentioned that I work in an office with 100% Caucasians? By that I mean they are all of Anglo descent with no spicy additives. ;op

Anyway, now that we are in near epidemic mode, they (the bats) feel I have all the answers to the causes and cures to the swine flu because it originated in México. Believe it or not, I don’t. I am as much in the know as the rest of the population… only better looking.

I’m not one to jump on the bandwagon of headline stories but this one is hitting close to home. I'm worried about all my family in México. Especially my grandparents. My grandfather has always been more like a father to me and I know that he will eventually be taken from this world but I am not ready to even think about that.

My papi and I.

I think it’s interesting how people take this type of news.

Conspiracy Theorist:
My brother Rick is arguing it’s not real and that there is something fishy going on but I blame that on the fact that he was whacked on the head.

Religionistssss:
While having dinner yesterday, my mom was saying how the Bible predicts plagues and natural disasters etc. She said the signs were all around us.

I had to finally say that, for centuries, there have been other diseases that killed off large portions of the population. Most recently was SARS and the bird flu. Before that there was the Ebola virus scare in the 90s and let’s never forget cancer. All I’m trying to say is we should take precautions but not continue with the doomsday predictions. Specifically during dinner when I’m trying to eat my tacos.

I will never understand people’s need to know what their future will hold. I’ve been living by the seat of my pants for years and have just prayed for the best. It’s usually worked out okay for me. Granted, I wish I would have known how much of a clunker my first car would be but I don’t know if I would have listened to Nostradamus’ or the Mayans’ prediction of it leaving me stranded in the middle of a left turn and blocking traffic.

I’m not saying they might not be right or to disregard the Bible but why would anybody live their lives with a dark cloud hanging over their heads? I can control my own destiny by being a decent human being, taking care of the people I love, working, eating lots of chocolate, not committing any crimes, etc. If a time comes when I know that it’s the end of the road for me, I hope to be able to take it in stride and accept things I cannot change (I probably won't take it well and cry like a pansy but don't tell anybody!).

I personally think the swine thing might be more serious and they are keeping the gory details so that pandemonium doesn’t erupt. Does that make me a realist or a pessimist? I don't know but for now, I am going to get up every morning, late as usual, run around the house chanting my remembrance song, swear at the dogs, jump into my mini tank, drive my ass to the asylum and grit my teeth until 5 o’clock. Such is the price to pay for paradise.

Also, if I sneeze, I don’t want everybody in the office walking around with scuba gear just because I have family in México. It’s a little insulting and if they keep giving me shit, I'm going to start wearing gas masks to stave off The Ladies of Perpetual Flatulence (the bats).

Take care of yourselves and don't eat too many bananas.