My house has windows. My car has windows. My office has windows. My bologna has a first name...

My friend Brian, I’m sure you guys have seen him around, did a post the other day talking about how much he hates Windows and how Linux is way better because it brings you ice cream and what not. 

One of his comments was that, using Linux, if you wanted to delete your files you only had to command it once. He said Microsoft is suggesting we’re dummies because it does such things as ask you once, twice and sometimes three times (the lady) if you’re absolutely positively SURE you want to go ahead and delete ALL the pictures in your gallery even the ones that you do not have copies of?

I thought about this as I was working on Monday because the system I use at work does ask you repeatedly “if you’re sure” of your next move. That’s when I realized Microsoft knows what it’s doing.

I’ll stand back while the BOOs die down.

Look, I’m a reasonably intelligent person. I can’t compete with a lot of the brainiacs out there (BRIAN) because I’m self taught. I didn’t touch a computer (outside of limited access in school) until I was about 26/27.

At my first office job, the guy who trained me was a stickler for protocol. This is how they taught him and these were the only things I was allowed to do on this computer.Once he left and moved to OCDland, my somewhat logical mind questioned certain commands I clicked on a menu here and there to see where they would take me and once I found out I couldn’t blow up the computer or the toaster, I became a little more daring. On my own, I found short cuts in systems I’ve worked in and also learned how to reset things, remove things and generally make my work life easier.

However!

I am thankful that I have always had the option of saying ‘no’ to such things as “You just asked me to erase the back up, would you like to proceed?” because my very first office job might have been my last.

I love operating with a safety net.  I’m too impulsive and sometimes, always really, I don’t read the next set of instructions because I’m arrogant and think I know everything but when the pop up window then asks “Are you sure you want to broadcast your SS# to the interworldwideweb, you dumbass? Because that’s what you just asked me to do!” I can then breathe a sigh of relief that somebody, anybody is out there saving me from myself.

While I may not be the reason they add warnings like “do not put plastic bag over your head and dance around until the oxygen leaves your brain” I do sometimes need someone to second guess me. Well, not in real life because everybody knows how I feel about opinions. I just mean in computerland.

I have also been thankful for those extra few steps when training new employees. Can you imagine what would have happened with my assistant from hell if we didn’t have those safety locks? Here, let me type out a little play for you.

Asst.:
Bee said I should add this insurance to this account. Let’s see ‘do I want to add or delete account’ ummmmm delete I guess? Okay now that the account is gone, where do I add the insurance?  Maybe I have to add it here where it says “do not edit” okay, I’m in the screen editing away. Goodbye Coke formula, goodbye. Wow this is really easy.

It doesn’t always work though as we may remember from the July incident where this dumbass I called my assistant proceeded to erase a whole day’s worth of work even though I am 100% sure excel did ask her if she wanted to save changes before closing the document and SHE SAID NO.

I believe people’s brains are built differently. I can understand people liking Beyonce even thought I think she is an overrated schreechball to each their own. I just don’t think there’s a right or wrong to what one considers more user friendly. Can't we all just get along?

Linux works for Brian because his intelligence is above average and he seems to be an extremely detailed human being. Windows works for me because I generally don’t know what I’m doing and I’m just winging it. Plus, I wouldn’t know what to do if I accidentally erased my pictures when I pounded on my keyboard one too many times. Windows works for Andy because he can’t operate his iPhone. Windows works for my mother in law because she can call me and I can walk her through certain things she has questions about. Linux works for Brian because he is a poopy head.

So there, Brian!