Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful and have the best skin tone and am awesome and things look naturally good on me and because I'm conceited.


Andy and Bee sitting in their respective TV watching sofa/chairs stuffing their faces with chocolate cake.

Bee: Man, I don't know why but it feels like ACS tired me out more than usual today!

Andy: Chocolate cake makes everything better!

Bee: True! I think I'm gonna quit ACS, though.

Andy: Why? I thought you loved working there!

Bee: I do! But... all the clothes in stock looks too good on me.

Andy: Wow!

Bee: I know! Take for example the new shipment that came in--

Andy: No. I mean "wow" what an ego you're carrying!

Bee: What do you mean? I'm just being honest!

Andy: I'm sure you are. Do you have to buy an extra ticket when you go to the movies? One for you and one for your giant ego?? [laughs hysterically]

Bee: [evil squinty eyes] Are you calling me fat?

Andy: [panicked face, eyes wide open] WHAT?? NO! NO, NOT ALL NO!

Bee: [looking at nails] Then what is that crack about an extra seat at the movies?

Andy: OH GOD NO! I was just making a joke about your ego!

Bee: [sadly nods head] You hurt my feelings.

Andy: Babe, I seriously only meant EGO.

Bee: ... It was mean.

Andy: [wraps me up in bear hug] You know what? Why don't you buy yourself something nice tomorrow? Maybe a nice shirt? Would that make you feel better??

Bee: [instantly happy!] OKAY!

Ladies, you have much to learn from me.


  1. I don't care either way cause I was first!
    I love what you did there. That truly was art at it's best, Bee.
    I'm in the market for new shoes. What would you suggest?

  2. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't get away with something like that, especially since bf laughed for ten minutes and then didn't say he was sorry when he actually made a joke about me being fat. Asshole.
    Good thing for him that I call him old all the time so I'm in the winner's section. Psch.

  3. Um....that's not enough shoes for you, Bee.

  4. next time do you think you could get Andy to get me a shirt?

    awesome work

  5. So that's how you do it.

    No men have commented yet. I wonder why.

  6. Bee, you sly little devil. I'm going to try that on Wayne. I need new jeans.

  7. Oh Bee, Bee, Bee...come to me my little lover! I manage a retail boutique. My MIL is my boss (which equals I own her only son's penis)

    Which means...EVERYTHING looks good on us, yes my love everything. We try, we buy, we wear and we sell! Then we get free clothes!

    My daily greeting to The Dish when I get home is...'Come here I want to show you what came in today'

  8. To augment Brian's comment, I think why the men are speechless is because they just probably aren't surprised at how large a woman's ego can be when it comes to getting clothes. Our egos are the same when it comes to getting sex. :)

  9. Hey Bee, what did Tazz and Mocha get you this year for Mother's Day?
    luv ya, jeanknee

  10. (Bowing on knees with head down)..Im not worthy Master! Funny post.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.