Thursday, May 20, 2010

Andy wanted me to title this "Poopy McPoopypants" or "Spanky McSpankerpants" and so I am.

Now that I'm working 48 hours a day, Andy and I have to have a lot of our conversations via text messages and honestly, I think it's brought us closer together because when I'm being sarcastic, he thinks I'm being sweet and so there are less arguments. This particular conversation took place today while I was setting up table displays at ACS.

Andy: Bee?

Bee: Yep?

Andy: Why is there a steak knife on the bed?

Bee: Because I couldn't find the chicken sheers.

Andy: Bee?

Bee: Yeeeesss??

Andy: Why did you need the chicken sheers in the bedroom?

And while I was in the middle of typing a long detailed explanation, Mr. Inpatient sent me another message

Andy: Weeell?? :o\

Bee: Dammit! I was about to tell you hold on!

Bee: I was going to wear my jeans with the razor cuts but then I remembered they almost slid off my butt when I was on the ladder.

Andy: When, where and WHY were you on a ladder.

Bee: Monday, at ACS, looking for the duster I misplaced last week.

Bee: So I went to get my belt but the belt had that thick plastic hang tag still on it so I needed to remove it and that's where the knife comes in.

Andy: Should I even ask why there's a baggie full of cheese cubes on your night stand?

Bee: I was wondering where my cheese went!

When I got home he told me he thought the steak knife was like some sort of weird warning "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your dick off".

Andy: I was gonna say you'd need to use a machete not a wimpy steak knife. [looks at me and winks] eh? EH?

Bee: I love how my violent tendencies are always on your mind right along with your delusions of grandeur.

Andy:  Asshole.

And that ladies and gents, is how a perfect relationship works!


  1. I don't know... texting is still a whole new world for me... I still spell everything out, then I think, I would've been done with what I had to say already if I had simply just called.

    But, if it works for you, hey, go for it! :0)

  2. Aww, you guys are ahead of the times!

  3. dang, did he at least put the cheese cubes in the fridge for later?

  4. It's good to know that a knife on the bed may be enough to deter any possible extra-curricular activities.


  5. You two are hilarious. I gave you an award. Come by my blog today and collect it if you have time. :)

  6. that just might be one of my favorite text message conversation of all time!

  7. You shouldn't have used a knife to cut a plastic tag. There could have been a nasty accident. You might have slipped and cut through your cheese cubes.


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