Now that I'm working 48 hours a day, Andy and I have to have a lot of our conversations via text messages and honestly, I think it's brought us closer together because when I'm being sarcastic, he thinks I'm being sweet and so there are less arguments. This particular conversation took place today while I was setting up table displays at ACS.
Andy: Why is there a steak knife on the bed?
Bee: Because I couldn't find the chicken sheers.
Andy: Why did you need the chicken sheers in the bedroom?
And while I was in the middle of typing a long detailed explanation, Mr. Inpatient sent me another message
Andy: Weeell?? :o\
Bee: Dammit! I was about to tell you hold on!
Bee: I was going to wear my jeans with the razor cuts but then I remembered they almost slid off my butt when I was on the ladder.
Andy: When, where and WHY were you on a ladder.
Bee: Monday, at ACS, looking for the duster I misplaced last week.
Bee: So I went to get my belt but the belt had that thick plastic hang tag still on it so I needed to remove it and that's where the knife comes in.
Andy: Should I even ask why there's a baggie full of cheese cubes on your night stand?
Bee: I was wondering where my cheese went!
When I got home he told me he thought the steak knife was like some sort of weird warning "if you cheat on me, I'll cut your dick off".
Andy: I was gonna say you'd need to use a machete not a wimpy steak knife. [looks at me and winks] eh? EH?
Bee: I love how my violent tendencies are always on your mind right along with your delusions of grandeur.
And that ladies and gents, is how a perfect relationship works!