So we watched The Box tonight. It sat on top of our coffee table for almost 2 weeks because Andy and I were too chicken shit busy to watch it.
We finally gathered some balls made some time and watched it.
I have a couple of problems with this movie. The first one is not that I wish Cameron Diaz had not pushed the button but more like I wish she and the other actors plus whoever decided to make this movie had instead gone for a nice walk on the beach, maybe had a corn dog while sitting on a blanket and enjoying the sunset.
But no. Instead some guy went into a room and sat in front of a typewriter and some time later the result ended up in my home. Where it gathered dust because I mistook it for a horror film when in reality it is just horrible.
Secondly, who allows a guy looking like this into their home?
I mean, I'd be like "poor guy!" but I'd think it as I'm double bolting my door and loading my shot gun and dialing 911 because you never know how his *accident* 
happened. Did he try stealing plutonium so he could build a time machine so he may travel back in time to get the winning lottery numbers so he could have enough funds to invent Call of Duty the most annoying game in the whole freaking world because your husband loves to yell obscenities at the TV while you're trying to listen to some soothing Jazz? I don't know! Therefore I will not engage.
After doing some research, I found out this movie was sorta based on a Twilight Zone episode. I'd like to have seen that instead because losing 30 minutes seems like a better idea.
Also, it seems that all the couples that were in receipt of *The Box* had one thing in common, the wife was the one who pushes the button! What. The. Fuck? Sure we like our shoes, purses, clothes and jewelry but that doesn't mean we're going to off someone at the first chance we get! And the way they pushed the button was even more insulting!
Wife: [in a breathy Marilyn Monroe voice] I'm gonna push it sweetums.
Husband: I don't know, wife. What if we can't live with our conscience?? What if--
Wife: Oopsie! I pushed it! hee hee hee!
Here's what I think of that:
Presumably this is a modern take on Pandora's box. But Pandora gave it to her husband, who opened it and unleashed the dreadful things...
ReplyDeleteThat last photo is appropriate for any movie that wastes my time.
ReplyDeleteEvil Twin may be boring it for other purposes.
Hum....
So don't see The Box... dually noted. Thanks! :-)
ReplyDeletethe photo is not showing on my monitor (that is happening a lot lately) BUT i ASSUME IT IS AWESOME
ReplyDeletedamn caps lock--why is it so close to the shift key?
CAPS LOCK is evil - it was presumably one of the items in Pandora's box. You could physically remove it from your keyboard.
ReplyDeleteI didn't like the movie either. I watched the first 20 or so minutes of it and stopped. It just didn't push my buttons. Pardon the pun.
ReplyDeleteThanks for letting me know how badly that movie sucked. Now I dont have to waste any time watching it!
ReplyDeleteI was way more entertained reading your review than watching the trailer for the movie.
ReplyDeleteThanks for saving me time and effort Bee!
Now I want to know more about Call of Duty
caps lock and compound words should be banned.
ReplyDeleteand also tooth decay
amen. i felt the same way after i watched this movie. i wanted my time back. ridiculous!
ReplyDeleteThat movie didn't even appeal to me in the previews, therefore, I had forgotten all about it until reading this post.
ReplyDeleteI often watch movies that are crap but I make myself see them through to the end, even if it's painful. I don't know why....