Monday, May 24, 2010

Blue, Black, Purple, it's all the same to Milton.

I hardly ever pay attention to the words that are coming out of Milton's mouth anymore. I'm too busy and tired on a normal day and she usually picks a topic and then goes on and on in her soft whiny voice that sounds a lot like the old lady from Poltergeist. "Would you like some cheese, Carol Anne?"

I let her ramble and every once in a while, I throw in a "mmhm", "wow" or "yeah" and she keeps on goin'! But today? Today she had my full attention! Sort of.

I was listening to Hotel California (classic!) and trying to concentrate on an account when I heard Milton mumble about some man she had just spoken to on the phone that didn't agree with his bill. This is what I heard:

"mumble mumble blah blah I'm going to blue ball that man!"

Me: [*::blink blink:: wiggle fingers in ears*] Uh, what did you say??

Milton: I'm just so frustrated! I know I can't actually blue ball him since it's not my company but I can dream, can't I?

Me: ::snicker:: You dream of blue balling him?? ::hee hee!::

Milton: Yes I do! In fact there's a bunch of others I'd like to blue ball while I'm at it!


Milton: [laughing] I know I'm being silly.

Me: I think you mean *blackball*

Milton: Black ball, blue ball, you know what I mean!

Me: Yep. I know exactly what you mean but for future reference, the slang for blue balls is [and I showed her the definition on my iphone because she's my mother's age and I really do not want to talk about blue balls with her but I wanted to inform her for her protection and hen not talk about it again. With her ever.]

Milton: Oh no! [turns purple] I've said *blue ball* all my life! In fact! I used that same expression with the pastor last Sunday! I told him he needed to bring his wife's brownies more often or we were going to blue ball him from his own church!



  1. Has threaten too........ What?

  2. snnnorrrrrt

    That Milton is just priceless

    There's a blogger who calls herself Blue Muff. totally innocently- she's older too

  3. Is that anything like Red Bull?

    Oh wait. Balls.

  4. Pastor, church, blue ball.

    he he he he heeeee

  5. Omagah, Nebraska. Now THAT is a great punchline!


  7. She said it to her pastor? HAHAHAHA!

    PS- I thought that photo was of Kim Jong-Il.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.