Attack of the gray haired blood suckers... BOO!

-Day 93- Did I scare you? Well that was nothing! I was scared to within one inch of my awesome life today! ONE INCH! And I have many inches on me so that's saying ALLOT! ::sad sigh::

... Anyway, here's my question:

Can I file assault charges if a couple of kooky oldies (not my work oldies, OTHER oldies!)(the world is full of 'em.)(some are nice) tried to bully me into donating my precious blood? Don't they know this blood has been with me since I was a wee little mini Bee?? I'm very attached to it!
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Plus... I AM TERRIFIED OF NEEDLES! By terrified I mean, my blood runs cold, I start to sweat, shake and speak in tongues. To say it's unpleasant would be the understatement of the century.

I walked into the building and a little elderly lady came out of nowhere.
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"Hi! We're volunteering for Z Sources. We'd like you to donate blood today!"
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Just. Like That.
No "Please", no "How you doin'?".
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She didn't even acknowledge the hammer she had just thrown at me. She just kept staring at me with the lipstick-on-teeth-grin and unblinking eyes.

Me:
Sorry, no. I'm deathly afraid of needles. [and watching my blood ooze out of my veins]
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Little oldie:
Oh honey, all you feel is a pinch then nothing!
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Me: [I kept walking]
No, no. I can't do it.
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When I entered the main lobby, I was horrified to see a wall of vampiric elderly people!
They had tables lining the walls. Lining the walls! ::They were everywhere.::
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Right now you're thinking I'm dreaming, sadly I'm not! I was awake and my blood was pooling at my toes!
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Then! I met Future Bee.
She didn't look like me, she was tall and rail thin but... well, you'll see.
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Little oldie: [to Future Bee]
I'm telling her it won't hurt.
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Future Bee: [look of derision]
What? Are you scared?
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Cute and Cuddly Bee:
Frankly, yes!
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Future Bee:
What are you 30? Don't be a baby!
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Reasonable Bee:
Well that argument convinced me... NO.
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Future Bee:
Giving blood is important, don't you care if somebody might need your blood to LIVE?? Don't you want to do something selfless in your life?
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She seriously asked me that!
Hey man, I do stuff for other people! I'm semi-green. I umm... uh... I'm sure there's something else!
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The other people were waiting for the outcome of our showdown. They sensed my fear and wanted my pure blood, they wanted it all!
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I was beginning to think I'd never get to walk thru the office door and touch the stuff on my desk ever again. Luckily, this is what my bat adventures have prepared me for.
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Bee:
I need my blood to live! I know you have all day to argue with me but I have to get to work!
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At which point I ran into the office and slammed the door! Here I thought I'd be on time today!
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Do you think they use the same techniques to train blood suckers as they do to train car salesmen? It's a good thing I'm well aware of my rights to retain my blood!
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I felt happy that I had gotten thru more or less unharmed... unless you count the bathroom trips I had to make with their beedy eyes boring holes into my SOUL!
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P.S.
Someone is threatening to kill Al Pacino in 88 minutes.
Well, he gave us The Godfather I & II. Scarface was overrated and the rest of his movies have been crap so... maybe we can take him out in 10 minutes?
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P.P.S.
Devil's Advocate was good but it would have been better without Al Pacino and Keanu Reeves.

Hump day has arrived

-Day 92-
First, I'd like to say thanks for all the e-mails you sent threatening me if I ever scare you again. (I'm not scaurd!)(much)

Ha Ha Ha! I had my fun! I regret closing the comments because some of your vulgar statements were colorful... to say the least!
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I would like to answer one question:
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"uhm did you spell SWAN wrong on purpose?"
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WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?? THAT'S HOW YOU SPELL SAWN!!
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Anyway, I hope you had a fun April Fool's Day. Mine wasn't too good, aside from the e-mails I mean.
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I decided that on my next meeting with OZ, I might ask for my own office.
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Currently I share the office with Milton, PD, the copy machine, fax machine and the postage meter thing.
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Unfortunately, I sit right next to the copy machine.
My desk is the one with the X:
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Do you see where the copy machine is?

These drawers are where you load paper.



This is the box with extra paper.
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When people bend over to fill the copy machine THEIR BUTT IS IN MY FACE!
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<- X marks the spot where my face would be.

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What I don’t understand is, why point it at me? They can obviously bend over in the opposite direction! Is this their passive aggressive way of telling me I can kiss their ass? Because all I read into that is please KICK my ass!
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Sometimes they point at me when they're just getting extra paper. My camera was too slow so I was unable to give you guys a proper peep shot of the miscreants.

She had bent over to get paper.

Am I overreacting? Let's remember that I work in the office of flatulence!

P.S.

They are revamping Dungeons & Dragons and making it like the other game Andy plays with the Wizards and the Orcs? I thought they had already done that but I was quickly corrected by Andy "Bee, you're thinking of Magic the Gathering!"

No, I can honestly say I wasn't!

My Sawn Song...

So...

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This will be my last post. No more. Done. Caput.

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Unlike the Dying Swan, I'm not gonna keel over (hopefully) so don't get any bright ideas about inheriting my shoe collection!

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We've laughed together, sang together, picked each others outfits (that's where I learned what a jumper was, funny weird British language), we posed in swimsuits together, blamed each other for flus, did Memes, became aware of all Zombie habits-characteristics-and who would fall first, discussed husbands and wives and their weird habits agreeing we were perfect, talked about guys I'd like a free pass for, disagreed on music and movies, I yelled at you just because it made me smile, I pretended to be tall... So many things!

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I will even miss my Anonymous hecklers! Oh how I love you Anonymous hecklers with your big words that make me laugh.

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You knew the time was coming right? You knew I was losing my mind and turning into a bat?

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Oh well, you guys will always be in my thoughts.

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Remember to go to Humor-Blogs and Alltop to fill the emptiness I'm leaving in your hearts and your souls.

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I'm closing the comments cuz I don't want it to be about sadness but I am asking you to leave me a comment on this private link here.

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Live long and prosper.

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Bee

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P.S.

Cubs lost. Well, there's always next year!

P.P.S.

Cellphones cause brain cancer over a period of 10 years!!!! WTF!