♪♫ Here's the mail it never fails it makes me want to wag my tail MAIL!! ♪♫

So, I received my first birthday card of the year. It was from my friend Brian:

 

Then he left the country so that I wouldn't use his head as a soccer ball.

I mean, grey hair? Really? Not even if my brain turned into mush and I had to communicate like this "Waaaalgreen's hairsh dryeesh!" (sorry if that offends any of you drunkies). I have no control over wrinkles but my hair will bend to my will!

Thank you, Brian!   

 

Anyway! The winner of Robert Kroese's novel, Mercury Falls,  iiiiiiiiiiiis!

Heather K. (who may or may not want to send me her address considering I threatened to leave Tazz at her home as my calling card)! Congratulations!

You know what else is cool, Heather? Since this copy was not signed by Rob, I myself will sign it! I know! You will have a one of a kind, only used for signing paychecks, Bee autograph! (Don't worry, a little white out and the book will be good as new!)

Rob's interview to come next week because I suck at homework.

Randumbness

So... while kids were out looking for treats this Halloween, I was finding my own treats hidden in my pots.

The squirrels are going to be so pissed when they go digging for their winter snacks and oops! All gone!

What? You gonna cry for the squirrels now?

There is no mercy in this DOJO!

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I had a doctor's appointment early on Saturday. For those of you keeping score, that's like the 100th appointment this year. She's still trying to iron out my kinks. I think it took Dr. Frankenstein less time to create his monster. Anyway, she was checking this and that when she asked me how I cleaned my ears. The question shouldn't have shocked me I guess but it did. I am very meticulous about my pre-check-up preparations so I thought maybe she wanted to get some tips from me?

Me: Well, I take the Q-tip and put it in my ear... I only use Q-Tip brand Q-tips though because the other ones are too flimsy-

Doc: No! Don't use Q-Tips. All they do is push the wax in deeper. You need to use drops!

Me: What are you saying?? [puts hands over ears]

Doc: Don't worry. I see this all he time. I'll write down the name of the drops for you-

And then she was distracted by a wailing kid who just had its ears pierced so she didn't write the name down for me. No, my doctor doesn't practice out of a Claire's.

I've been alive for almost 37 years and I've just learned I've been cleaning my ears wrong! If anybody knows what kind of drops I'm supposed to be using please let me know. I can barely hear over here!

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I dyed my hair today. I went with Black but not because I'm having an identity crisis and am going for the goth look. I just like black hair. Unfortunately, the dye left what looks like a 5 o'clock shadow on both sides of my face giving me the appearance of sideburns. I'm gonna have to own them so that I don't look like an ass when I go in to work tomorrow.

 

"Thank you! Thank you verrry much!"

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I'd like to thank everybody who entered to win Mercury Falls. I was unable to read the book yet therefore have not sent Diesel aka Robert Kroese my interview questions so I'll hopefully announce the winner on Friday at the bottom of my interview. Way at the bottom. This will force you to read the whole interview and not just pop in, see if you won or not and then go have pizza.

Do you remember when you were a little kid and you promised yourself that when you grew up you'd eat candy all the time because you wouldn't have a mean old parent telling you not to?? Well! My tummy is all achey now from all the left over candy. Now I'm sad and wish I could beat up 11 year old stupid me.

The end.

Mercury Falls A Novel By Robert Kroese. Who is Robert Kroese? You will soon find out!

I came home the other day to find 2 copies of Diesel's, or as his parole officer calls him "Robert Kroese", new book, Mercury Falls, on my dining room table.

It was like Christmas!

However, the fact that I received 2 books puzzled me. Knowing our history, I had to email him RIGHTAWAY to make sure he was aware he'd sent me 2 copies because one was addressed to "Bee Cor-" and the other to "Bianca Rut-" (both people are me)(we use the same head). I didn't want him to think I cheated, you know, again.

Diesel replied that he sent me 2 copies on purpose. One for being a snazzy dresser (he chose a winner via eenie, meenie, miney, mo) and the other for having a terrific disposition (I'm a Humor-Blog supporter). He also said I could do whatever I wanted with the second book.

Soooo being the ever generous, kindhearted person that I am, I decided to brighten someone's day and have my very first book give away!

[hold for applause]

Anybody can enter. All you need to do is email me at beesmusings @ gmail.com and your names will be entered in a bowl, or maybe a hat because all my bowls are dirty since I can't find a man-maid, and I will choose one winner. Don't worry, you don't need to write an essay telling me how much you hate love me. You don't need to have a blog or a dog or a frog you just need to have an email address and probably a computer. And an address where I may mail the book would help. You have until Sunday night November 1st to enter.

I haven't read the book yet because I'm waiting for the perfect weekend where I will be free to immerse myself in the apocalypse (YAY!) and have nothing else to do but shake in my slippers!

No, I'm sure it won't be scary. Hopefully?

Besides, the name of the book, Mercury Falls, made me think of a soap opera the whole time he was pimping it. Kinda like Melrose Place with better characters and writing.

Anyway! Once I read it, I will engage Robert Kroese in a Q&A and also give you a review of the book. In the meantime, enter to win. Send me your email. You have nothing to lose but your silverware!

*****Disclaimer!*****

The following people cannot win the book:

Anybody with the last name of Cor**** and its affiliates, Rut****** and its affiliates, people who already received a book from Diesel or have a pirated copy because pirates are scum. I don't care how many movies Johnny Depp makes!