Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why am I always forgetting my pants (or *trousers* in Brian-speak)??

I received an email* the other day asking about our new living arrangements with my brother-in-law because I haven't talked about it at all. This person was wondering how it was going and if I was ready to join a traveling circus yet. The short answer to that is *yes* and the long answer is ohmylordwhatdidwegetourselvesinto!
Honestly, it's been a difficult adjustment. Our whole lives have changed dramatically and I have to admit to Andy and I arguing a lot more than we used to because we no longer have the buffer his dungeon offered.
Sometimes, I feel like I'm living in a boy's locker room because OMG why do I have to scrub the tub so often?? Other times I feel like I've regressed into my teen years where I would have to ask my brothers and sister not to wear my clothes (I had both guy and girl clothes) or to pick up after themselves. Or when they would deny doing something even though they were the only ones in the house at the time. Grrrr! Okay, deep breaths!
I don't know if it's the fact that I'm old and set in my ways and feel like I've worked hard all my life and all I want to do at the grand old age of 37 is go home to my obnoxious mutts and veg in front of the TV without having to worry about watching a girlie show in the presence of 2 dudes. The last thing I want to do is surf through the channels looking for bisexual programming. Uh, and by that I think I meant unisex? As in for both genders? I don't know what it's called so which ever one fits the situation, that's what I meant.
I think the hardest thing I've had to adapt to is the lack of privacy. I no longer have the luxury of having the bathroom door open while I stand in my underpants drying my hair after I take a shower. I can no longer change into my jammies and lounge in front of the TV before bedtime because my jammies no longer consist of sweats and a t-shirt.
Yeah, I look exactly like that. 
As some of you may remember, I am not an early riser. I'm used to just rolling out of bed and WHILST showering deciding what I'm going to wear. After my shower I would wrap myself up in a towel and drip drip back into my bedroom to get my clothes. Now it has all changed. Now I have to make up my mind before my shower (who can think clearly seconds after waking up? If I mismatch my tanks and cardigans, I shouldn't be penalized!) and then I have to take my clothes into the bathroom with me.

I guess it wouldn't be too big of a deal if I didn't keep forgetting to bring in my pants! I mean, it's not like I just started dressing myself yesterday! I've been doing it since I was about 11 or 15 so it's been a few years but my brain goes into pause and as I'm getting ready to exit the bathroom, after I've done make up and hair, I think to myself "hmmm something is missing but I can't quite put my finger on it!" as I pat my naked thigh "I know I'm forgetting something but what can it be??" as I admire my freshly shaved legs "so many things I have to keep track of. . ." as I admire my fancy shoes "why did I think these pants would be too short for these shoes? Oh wait! I'm not wearing any pants!" and then I grab my towel and wrap it around my lower half and I carefully open the bathroom door, peek out to make sure my BIL is still in his room and then make a mad dash for my bedroom and the safety of my pants.

He's usually not up that early so we're not always in danger (I say we because it would be a very bad bad experience for all involved) of witnessing my pantless mad dash to my room but there was that one time he got up early to go to Great America, lucky for me, I had remembered the pants so when I opened the bathroom door and heard "hey, Bee" I only squealed a little from the shock. Okay, I also dropped my phone which made scream but at least I was fully clothed!
Andy and I are trying to remain chill (that's young people speak for *cool*) because we know his brother is also stressing. He's used to peace and quiet while my house is anything but. He's used to a well stocked fridge while mine is stocked with beverages and lunch meat. He's used to a well organized house where mine is chaotic and cluttery. I have been known to accidentally store my flashlight (or torch, Brian) in the fridge...

Anyway, we're gonna keep working on... winning the lottery. In the meantime, I'm gonna stock my cabinet with Nyquil.  
*Thank you all for the emails you send me. I try to respond as I get them and if I don't you can blame it on 2 things. The fact that my AT&T guy, Big Tex, hasn't fixed the email feature on my iphone 4 and the fact that evil spam elves are diverting a lot of my emails to my spam folder against my will.

Also, some of you should have blogs because you are very funny! I'm looking at you, KJAX! Cracked me up!


  1. Couldn't you decide on your cardigan colour scheme the night before?

    If you find yourself having to make a mad dash, keep your eyes tightly closed. That way only one of you will be traumatised by the experience. Unless you run into him, of course.

  2. Aw shucks. Thank you, miss.

    I'm all caught up! I am fully Bee informed. Now I need to find someone else to stretch out my lunches with. (I'm still reading, but now you are in the group that elongates my breaks, not lunch.)

  3. Need to add, I know what you are talking about in this post.

    My DH and I have lived alone for many years and our social graces have become a little...lax, shall we say? We're basically savages.

    So when my parents come to town, there's a whole lot of trying to remember that civilized people don't run around half naked all day and actually sit at tables and eat together, and apparently converse while they are doing it. And DO NOT, under any circumstances, take a bath with the door open so the kitties can come visit. Normal adults (parents) don't appreciate that. Nevermind that the cats will absolutely shred the door trying to get in because they have something very important to tell me, even though they ignored me all day long until the split second that door was closed.

    Still. Not. Acceptable. Behavior.

    It's hard, y'all. Overcoming Lord of the Flies tendencies to act like normal adults in the presence of others is not for sissies.

  4. Uh, yes, darn that awkward clothes matching business (what is she on about?).

    Space is essential!

  5. I know what you mean. My brother lived with us for about a year... in our tiny ONE bedroom apt. with ONE bathroom. My kids and I essentially lived out of the living room.

  6. eeeeek
    the summer after college me my sister, my brother and her four kids lived with my mom.

    I moved out as soon as I had enough $ for an apartment.

  7. I say let him get a peek of you in your underwear. Then the next time he see's you he'll just say , "Oh that's just Bee in her underwear."
    You have to break the ice sometime.

  8. There have been times in my life where having a roommate would have benefitted my bank account.

    After 5 minutes thinking about it I realize I'd rather be broke.

  9. "...Or to pick up after themselves."
    TEENS! D:

    Just use duct tape.
    It's water proof too.

  10. yes, living with other people really does impact your level of privacy. And the term bisexual television programming made me laugh out loud!

  11. Evil Twin could not take the sloppy men thing and she's good at hiding the evidence of her crimes. She is available for a small fee....

    Kidding. Kidding.

  12. all right Bee. You've had enough time. where's our picture???


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.