Thursday, August 5, 2010

It's a long setup so be patient and read the whole story. I command you!

As some of you may know, I call Andy The Warden because he's always hell bent on bedtime being at 10:30 pm. He's always all "lights out! bedtime!" and goes around turning off lights, locking doors and unplugging laptops, well just one, MINE! Unless! Unless he's battling some evil dwarves. Then it's okay to stay up until 11:30 because he makes the rules you see?

Last night, he fell asleep on the sofa at about 9 pm. I had some stuff to do so I didn't wind up waking him up until 11 and the first thing he asks is "Why did you wait until now to wake me up?" and that didn't go over well with me because I like to think I'm old enough to know when I'm tired and need to go to bed so we started arguing. I'll spare you the details but I knew that this would make me toss and turn while Andy would fall asleep before his head hit the pillow. The injustice of it all still pisses me off!

Anyway, flashforward to this morning when I was at the Asylum and talking to Milton (who happens to be a woman, you guys) and telling her I had had a weird dream.

Me: I dreamt I had turned to Andy in bed and started shoving him violently and all I kept hearing was "Bee! BEEEE!!"

Milton: Well, you were mad at him so it's only natural.

So I shrugged because it was probably the case but then, later in the afternoon, Andy called me to ask how I was doing.

Me: I'm tired! How do you think I am?? [because as far as I was concerned, the fight was still ON!] I didn't sleep well after you pissed me off!

Andy: You seemed to be sleeping fine when you punched me in the face multiple times. [he said calmly]

Me: . . . Uh, what??

Andy: Yeah, I woke up to you wailing on me and I was like "Bee! BEEEE!!" but then I heard you snoring.

Me: . . . I guess we're even?






  1. Some people talk in their sleep, but you assault people???

    Maybe you should wear a pillow on each hand.

  2. I'm getting closer and closer Bee. St Louis tonight

  3. YIKES!

    I think there is a pill for that!

  4. You must be missing that "chemical" that paralyzes us during our sleep... lucky Andy. :-)

  5. I stay up until 10.45, so there! A ha, I feel so alive.

  6. I'm sorry but anyone that unplugs your laptop before you're ready to deserves a smack or two. You're awesome.

  7. Maybe he'll think about spooning next time!

  8. There's something about this that makes me still want to say justice was served. You, I guess, literally laid the smack down!

  9. Ahahahhahahah! I definitely talk in my sleep, but no one has ever told me I punched them!

  10. Wow! I've done this, too. (I thought it was weird when I kept hearing, "Bee! BEEEE!")

  11. So funny- I guess he'll think twice before he tells you to go to bed.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.