Sunday, August 15, 2010

Alls well that ends well.

So... Saturday was my last day at ACS. I know. Sad. Unfortunately for me, I could no longer work on Saturdays and they couldn't accommodate me because it wouldn't be fair to the other girls. Sure, I'm freaking adorable and that should have tipped the scales in my favor but what are you gonna do? 

I mean, I always gave 75% and was punctual and sweet and helpful and looked great in their clothes and shopped a lot and, um, did I mention I'm adorable?

Andy has breathed a sigh of relief because I will no longer be smuggling clothes into the house in the middle of the night while he's trying to defend the universe from some dude named the Lynch King (which they supposedly defeated but for some reason they keep battling?). He's also happy he won't have clothes tumble towards him as he walks by my dresser because I have towers upon towers upon towers on my little tiny itty bitty dresser. In all fairness, I think he should just get me a bigger dresser.

comic strip closet 4

In all seriousness, I am going to miss working at ACS. It helped me so much when I had my mental meltdown 6 months ago, which I just hit the 6 month mark on Thursday, and kept my mind from focusing too much on what I thought was going to suck my brain dry.

I went in there thinking I was a shlumpy housewife and came out of there knowing that I'm not that at all! Part of the shlumpiness I felt was because I was not wearing clothes that fit me properly. I would go in and buy big loose shirts and stretchy pants and granny panties so of course I felt like an unattractive hag!

Thanks to the insistence of the women I worked with at ACS, I expanded my wardrobe horizons. I learned what type of shirts/blouses flatter my body. I learned that jeans could be your butt's best friend. I learned that I shouldn't be allergic to wearing light colors just because I always heard black was the only slimming color.

Most importantly, I learned that most women are kind and supportive and will verbally beat you up if you call yourself *fat*.

Working at ACS was a welcome distraction and I was able to put on pause the all consuming stress of working at the Asylum, my unhappiness with myself and it basically helped me not focus too much on my dark thoughts.

I believe that the activity also helped in my weight loss and *that* in turn helped transform my blood pressure from mercurial to steady. And honestly, I loved being out of the house. I mean, Andy has his hobbies and I felt like this was mine. It was somewhere I could go and interact with people that were closer to my age while at the same time help out women who were in the same imaginary position of shlumpy housewife I used to be in.

I also learned to accept *the booty*. No matter how much I try to outrun it, it's always gonna be right behind me (I crack myself up!) so I might as well make it work for me. Maybe I should even buy the Brazilian butt lift exercise. . . not that I'm gonna be doing booty pops or anything because who needs that image?

I was sorta depressed about the ACS situation but I have to admit I neglected a lot of the things I love doing because I always ended up too tired from working 2 jobs. I haven't hosted any family get togethers this year. I haven't been able to keep up with friends via email, facebook, blogs or phone. I mean, I went a whole week without seeing my little Isabella! Talk about heart breaking!


Sadly, one of the things that has suffered my neglect the most is my garden. Or, more accurately, my weed garden (and by weed I mean "any undesirable or troublesome plant, esp. one that grows profusely where it is not wanted" not maryjane weed).

Look! So pathetic!


And also, my blog. I haven't blogged as much as I'd like too. Blogging has always been my outlet and I find myself typing posts in my head but then when I get home, all I can think of is having my Coco Pebbles, because I'm 12, and then going to bed.

So, I guess what I'm saying is that the Sheriff is back so no more loitering at my street corner! No more coming over here and borrowing my things and then leaving them dirty and broken because I've got my eyes on you!

And to those of you who have kids who like leaving stray toys in my garden? They will be donated to a charity near you!

Oh! This means that the "Bee n' Andy" comic strip will be back too! Andy said "yay!" but he did it while shoving a pillow in his face so that confused me a little but he's always been a little odd so no worries.


::sigh:: No more 31% discount.


  1. Aww, no more ACS stories. But I know you have many more stories in ya' anyway, so I'm not worried. Buh-bye ACS...

  2. It sounds like it was wonderful therapy and now it's time to go forward.

    Ahem..that dresser!

    Ahem....those weeds!

    Ahem....GET BUSY!


  3. I know it's sad to leave but now there's more time for Milton stories, I love those.

    And I know for a fact there is nothing frumpy about you. That snake ring rocked my world. And there I was completely naked of all adornment, well except for my man shoes.

  4. well, here's to your wonderful learning experiences at ACS. And I'm very happy you now know jeans can make your butt look fantastic, women can be very supportive, and that light colors can be just as flattering!


  5. So does this mean I get treated to a new round of pictures? :P

  6. Selfishly, I'm glad we can expect more blog posts, presumably giving us advice on how we can all be as trendy as you. Not that I personally need any advice, obviously.

  7. 75% is perfect!!
    I will miss reading about the ACS but I'm happy you are getting to do your own thing.
    Whatever that is :D


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.