Sunday, June 6, 2010

I feel like that Asian dude from Gremlins with all the warnings.

So... my brother-in-law Jim has moved in and things are going smoothly so far. Especially because I seemed to have gained an ally for when Andy is being unreasonable which is like 79% of the time.

Since Jim will be home at times when we're not, we had to give him a detailed list of (I don't want to call them instructions because it sounds too bossy so we'll just say they're suggestions) suggestions regarding life at the Beehive. Some are pretty standard:

"Lock the door when you leave"

"Flush the toilet"

"Do not, under any circumstances, eat Andy's snacks!"

Others were more out of concern for his safety:


"Do not pet Tazz for more than 5 seconds because that is all he allows before he starts eating fingers."

"Do not sit/stand too close to Tazz when he's scratching because he will eventually scratch too hard and then attack the thing nearest to him"

"Do not turn your back on Tazz when you are leaving a room because he loves to use people's calves as chew toys"

"Do not try to save any papers/food/socks/keys/people if Tazz is gnawing on them because he will take you for his replacement."

These are real warnings suggestions! I don't care how cute and innocent he looks.

He'll be licking you and you're all happy because you think it's because he likes but all the while he's trying to figure out if he should eat you with BBQ sauce or hot sauce.

The dog was aptly named after the Tasmanian Devil. The little dude is crazy!

There are more suggestions but we don't want to scare him off too soon. Next week we will discuss my mood swings.if you think Tazz is dangerous, wait till you get a load of me!


  1. But I wanted to pet Taz when I come visit you!

  2. Are the the life instructions posted on sticky notes or more like a big poster kinda thing?
    Does he have to memorize those?
    Will you quiz him?
    Will you ask him to read you blog?

  3. Wait! You gave him suggestions!?!? What the heck?!? Why didn't you let him learn by experience like the rest of us? Is he the favorite now? Cause if he is I'm jealous!

  4. Hum.....perhaps Tazz has eaten my cat.

  5. I wish you'd write out some instructions for my Drew

  6. Maybe you need a muzzle.

    For Tazz, I mean.

  7. He has to beware of Tazz AND Andy?!

    Good luck Jim!


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.