Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Tales from the Marriage Crypt

So, on Sunday, Andy and I went on our weekly date to Costco. As we were walking through the parking lot, I couldn't help but notice an attractive couple putting large quantities of water and beer in their car. The chick was wearing tiny shorts and a tiny top and both kept pulling this way and that way as she bent forward leaving nothing to the imagination.

When we walked passed them, we overheard her yelling at him about something he had done and once we got inside Costco this happened:

Andy: Wow! She's really yelling at him! And he will put up with it, you know why?

Me: Because she's hot?

Andy: Yep. Only reason.

Me: Then why do you put up with me yelling at you?

Andy: [silence, silence, silence] Because you're my girl.

Awwww! Look at him sidestepping a landmine! So cute!

Now, this can be taken 1 of 2 ways:

Wincing and saying ouchie because that was a bad blow to the ego or being happy at the progress a marriage has made because 2 years ago the response would have been "I have too because we're married".

I went with the latter. I have no delusions of hotness. After all, here I sit with my chicken sheared bangs and eyebrows that haven't been plucked since before my sister had Isabella 3 years ago (hint hint NANCY!). I mean, sure, women all over want to think their husbands find them hot but I've come to accept that I'm not Andy's type (took a while but I did it! Yay me!) it's a surprise to me we even made it through our "courtship" phase. Which I guess is also something to take comfort in since we've made it this far.

Two years ago he would have just said whatever came into his head instead of thinking about the best answer that wouldn't leave a trail of hurt feelings behind. It's not that I blame him for his lack of sensitivity because that is what he was raised with, I submit this conversation we had over dinner with his parents as evidence:

Andy's Dad: … and so I told Jim, you have to look for a girl that's going to be good for you. It doesn't matter if she's pretty or not. [then says to me] He has dated a lot of lookers but it can't always be about being attractive. No offense, Bee… not to say that you're ugly.

I almost choked on my corn! I guess I should be thankful for having people around me that keep me grounded! "with friends like those, who needs enemies"? ::wonk wonk!:: [squeezes clown nose for joke emphasis]

Anyway, I got a warm fuzzy feeling from his answer. I think this goes to show that I have made some progress too. Instead of internalizing comments like that and lashing out in resentment, I can now shrug it off and write a passive aggressive post about it.

On a sad note:

One of the Asylum's long time workers is leaving. He is who I call the Tin-Man and I've talked about him very little on this blog because he is the only *normal* person here. Life here is going to be even less bearable because he was the one that managed to keep OZ in somewhat of a good mood, I think because OZ lived vicariously through him since he is charismatic and also hot. He was my lunch buddy that would listen to me rant and rave about all the bats and their latest idiocies. I predict many a dark day at Arkham Asylum.

Did I mention he's hot?


  1. Oh no. I will send Evil Twin to help you through the darkness.

    I see you've trained Andy well.


  2. The normals ones always leave. Which says all kinds of weird things about those of us who stay...

  3. aww Bee. I asked my Drew if he thought I was pretty (back when I was totally hot) and he said I was "completely average". I swooned. Who wouldn't?

    sorry about the normal hot guy :(


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