Oh lord! Milton lost her pencil again! I have been at work for an hour and have been asked 5 times if I've seen it.
Me: Uh, I haven't moved from this spot in an hour. Unless it has tiny little legs and a map, I don't see how it could have made its way to my desk.
Milton: I know I keep asking you but I'm hoping you'll surprise me.
So I get up, grab a BRAND NEW PENCIL FROM THE SPECIAL SUPPLY CABINET, sharpen it and say:
Me: Here's a NEW AND IMPROVED PENCIL. SURPRISE!!
Milton: Very funny but I need MY pencil.
And people wonder why I nicknamed her Milton from Office Space...