Sunday, March 20, 2011

According to research*, all Venus needs is big boobs and Mars will follow her even if she has 3 nostrils and no teeth.

*And by “research” I mean stuff I made up.

“The other day”, I was watching Legally Blond while Andy was on is computer, as I’ve mentioned before, his computer is now in the common area because his brother moved in with us. Remember him? The new guy I have to be constantly picking up after? Oh yeah, did I mention he’s 29?? BUT I’M NOT BITTER!!

::deep breath::

As I was watching one of my favorite movies of all time (for reasons I still don’t understand)(why it’s my favorite movie, I mean), the scene where Reese Witherspoon is getting a manicure came on and Andy yelled out “Oh Stifler’s Mom, what has become of you!” and he sounded sad.

legally blond

So I said '”what are you talking about? She looks the same!” and then Andy came to her defense in a manner I’ve never seen him come to my defense like ever.

“No way, Bee! She was hot!”

Me: Uh, no. She never was. She had big boobs but she looks the same as always.

Andy: You know what? Women can’t admit when another woman is hot.

Me: I disagree.
scarletjohansen Very HOT!

Andy: You know what, if you had a penis you would understand.

Oh. Okay. This is Stifler’s mom back when she was “hot”

All I see is big boobs and botox… but then again, I don’t have the intelligent, magical penis that enlightens all.

I just saw a commercial for Hooters on my TV. Ladies, we have to take control! We are making great progress when it comes to movies
beastly111 Beastly
but why is it that all the men in commercials have beer guts and look like Don Rickles. donrickles111
I’m sure he’s a nice guy but he’s definitely not they type of guy I dream of (see picture above the Rickles dude). I’m not saying they should remove the hot chicks from commercials but I’d like some equality, please.


  1. I'm with you all the way! All boobs and Botox.

    Thanks for beastly dude.



    Oops. I gotta go get a towel.

  2. Ahahahahhahahaaha!

    "the intelligent, magical penis that enlightens all."

    You crack me up.

    And, yes. Stiflers mom has NEVER been hot. But she is funny.

  3. I think there is a similar principle that if a bimbo dyes her hair blond she is instantly attractive, even though still skanky

  4. you've seen the old spice guy, right?


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.