Thursday, October 2, 2008

To dominate the world I will need my special spatula and some cookies.

Chris from Chris Wood's Blog (where else?) asked me what I had given Andy for his birthday this year.

Well, now that we're married, and the shackles are firmly placed on our bruised wrists and ankles, we no longer give each other material gifts.

This year, I gave him my undying adoration (okay undying for a 24 hour period only), love, understanding and a NO-YELLING day (where he can do no wrong even if he bleaches my slacks WHILE I'M WEARING THEM.) A day without me scolding, yelling or reproaching is worth my weight in gold. And that's a lot of gold.

The truth is, he still complains about the gifts I give him so I said to myself "Bee, just buy yourself some shoes" and I've always followed myself's advice since myself has never led me down the wrong path. Except that one time but that's only because myself told me to go north and I went east but I got there eventually... what?

Humor Bloggers World Denomination

WE BLOG FUNNYHave I told you guys that I'm a part of Humor Bloggers dot com? Who has a forum at Humor Bloggers dot org? Which gave birth to a blog at Humor Bloggers dot net? Yes? I've mentioned it before?

Well, it turns out we are trying to dominate the world. I know. I'll never have time to go shopping! I need some boots and maybe a new coat but that's gonna have to wait!

It turns out there's a contest to vote for Humor Blogger of the year. while I have no real aspirations to win, I still don't want to end up with ONE measly vote (I can't be sure but I think it's my vote! or did I vote for Mike? I don't know...)! Anyway, I'd appreciate a little love and some pity clicks but if you see a blog you like better on there, you and I? We're cool anyways. You and I? We can still have some milkshakes and a cheeseburger. You and I? We can still play hopscotch in the deep woods by the river. You and I? Will not come out of the deep woods by the river together. It will be just me walking out... because you stayed to look for acorns.

Here is the link for the voting LINK FOR VOTING Thanks!

My computer still has VD!

This is what my work computer looks like right now.

Don't be fooled! It looks like they're trying to help me by disinfecting my computer but these are troll bastard hackers virus thingys! When I click "no" it says "Okay bitch now you will let the cyber terrorists win!!!!!" and then it shuts down my computer. Now you know who to blame because the cyber terrorists are winning. All MY fault.
That's what I get for visiting your guys' blogs without lining my computer with toilet paper first!
So I still don't have internet access and I'm dying of boredom! You'd think that I get more work done right? Wrong! I keep checking my phone every 5 minutes!

Oh well, I guess I don't NEED to porn browse at work.
But enough about me, how you doin'??


  1. Classy post about the voting :>)

  2. I voted for you because you made me. I mean because I wanted to.

  3. That sounds like a mighty fine gift but I think I could have thought of a few better gifts any man would love, haha. ;)

    And about your virus problem. It looks like you have spyware and maybe even registry problems. I wont get into the details but if you really want to try giving it a shot yourself at ridding yourself of that garbage. Download these two anti-virus and anti-spyware software.

    They are called AVG and Adaware. Just google them or go to and get them from there.

    You can thank me later when your computer is feeling much better.

    buzz buzz

  4. I think if McCain started using your campaign approach, his approval ratings may start to creep up!

    Days without Internet?! You have amazing fortitude! I'd be dead by now!

  5. Great blogs,
    Im definitely voting for you, and about the viruses, yeah I've gone through a pack of charmin lining my computer :-).

  6. I am borrowing your gift idea for Christmas. My husband would so love a day of doing no wrong. Just last night he said "get off my ass!" LOL

  7. ahhhh

    I'm pretty sure I voted for you

  8. hey you could use my neti pot to get rid of yer computer virus

    it worked for me and my cock

  9. I know you didn't catch those nasty things from my computer, because I'm the security tech here at my work where I post from!

    If there were any kind of virus being sent out or even hibernating in my servers, one of the seventeen firewalls or antivirus programs we've got installed in here would give some kind of 3 bell alarm!

    I voted for you because you are one of the few who actually come and read my blog, so I feel indebted to ya for that!

    Good luck Bee!!

  10. Ahhh, VD VDT?

    ha, ha.

    P.S. Did you get it at Spatula City? (...for all your spatula needs.)

  11. Eleventh!!!!

    A whole *day* with no yelling? That must be quite something.

  12. I hope Andy enjoyed his present - sounds idyllic. And thanks for the link!

  13. What's your plateform?

    Are we not promised anything if we vote for you?

    ok! ok! I'm going... just don't hurt me.

  14. Couple of things. VD on the computer? Isn't there an antibiotic that you can take for that. It should clear up in a few weeks. Don't let it out to dry hump any more laptops. Also, a guy at my office once gave his wife a gift certificate he created himself of 1 hour of his time uninterrupted. At the bottom in small letters read (redeamable in 10 minute increments only)

  15. Could be worse than VD...could be VE!!!!

  16. Uhmm, well, you see, I would vote for you but I wasted my vote already on and I bet that bitch won't even appreciate it. :p

  17. Tell those geniuses that next time they might consider putting the 3,000 or so nominees in alphabetical order so we don't have to ctl+f to find you! :P

    I think your gift to Andy is superb. I don't think any man or single woman can know the sacrifice involved in such a day.

  18. Hey I am the genius who set it up, and I did so to make them earn the f*cking vote.

    A real fan will ctrl+f for them... :P

  19. Hey sugar, loved the post. Fly is on to something. You can never let your comp. sit in the rain of trash that is out there. Another thing I recommend is Ccleaner. It works wonders. You can go to and download for free. Also, I wasted my vote, like chelle. Now I wish I had saved it for someone who really is funny.

  20. Ah yes, a husband who can't make up his mind on what he really wants.

  21. I tried to vote for you twice, but the gosh darn thing is tricky, and wouldn't let me. Hmmm, wonder if it works with another browser..............

    I actually recognize that cute little virus! We get a number of calls about it, cause it's a sneaky little bastard and does a straight up install directly to the c drive. I thin if you go to program files and go up to the very top, it should be up there and you can just do a direct uninstall. Or maybe that was the other "anti-virus". Hmmm, I should move out there and twist your ar... I mean let you hire me to fix it :P.


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