About Me?

Okay you guys, I've been working on my "About Me" page (why? because I'm vain why else?) but I couldn't figure out what else to put on there that I haven't said before. Please read it and give me any comical helpful suggestions in the comment section.
I guess this is where I talk about me which is weird because that's what my blog is about, you know, me?

Anyway, I was born and raised in a small California town, not saying where because you will just google me and invade my privacy by calling all my old friends and demanding interviews.

Unfortunately, my family lived the lives of nomads so I didn't really grow roots in any one place. when i see a picture of someone I know, I never really can tell where it was that I met them. In this town? How about that one? Because of this, I hesitate to say stuff like 'oh yeah! that's so and so!' because it might not be *so and so*. Does that make sense? Whatever.

I'm the first born ('oldest' and 'eldest' are for tomatoes and reverends) of 5 kids. I have 3 brothers and 1 sister, 2 nieces and one on the way and probably already here by the time you're reading this, 2 dogs, some fish (the fish population is diminishing by the minute in fact, I think I just heard one die), 1 mom, 1 dad (he's here somewhere) and only ONE husband. I have no idea how polygamist do it because I feel one husband is all I can handle. Unless Brad Pitt becomes available but then thinking about it more seriously, do I want all those kids in my life? No, not really so I think I'll stick to just one husband.
Where was I? Oh yes, me. Uhm I work in an asylum, not really an asylum in that it is a place where you keep the mentally ill, more like a place where the mentally ill work. I include myself among them so don't think I'm being mean.

I live in a suburb outside of Chicago but if anybody asks I still say I live in Chicago.

Let's see what else, what else?

Oh yes! I have a scar on my lip from being thrown millions of feet while my uncle was trying to save me from a giant charging pig when I was 2. I personally think the pig just wanted to play.
I think that's all for now. Maybe I'll come back and add more juicy stuff later. Like the time I was jumped outside of a club and lost my shoe in the snow…