Friday, September 16, 2011

Bizarro Friday

Glynda (to me): What did you do for Mexican New Year?

Me: … ::blink blink:: I’m sorry, what did I what for what?

Glynda: Mexican New Year. I read in the paper that it was Mexican New Year over the weekend.

Me: Uh, as far as I know Mexican New Year is still on January first but maybe I didn’t get the memo? [smiles to tell her I’m just kidding] I think you meant Mexican Independence Day but that’s today.

Glynda: [giving me a look that says I must be a part-time Mexican and not “all there”] I’m pretty sure they said it was MEXICAN NEW YEAR.

Me: Well, I guess I’ll have to check with my fellow Mexicans and update my Aztec calendar. [hangs head in shame] I wonder when the Mexican Independence Day will be celebrated now that we have moved our New Year [puts hand on chin to imply deep thought] will my birthday be in the same month! I need to call a meeting!

Glynda: So I guess you’re mocking me?

Me: Maybe just a little.

OZ is off today which is awesome for many reasons but mostly because he’s taking his douchiness on the road but also because this means no patients. Or so we thought until a stray one walked in who thought his appointment was today. He also happened to be a Spanish speaker which does not say much for “my people” because I already dropped the ball on the whole Mexican New Year thing so I went up to the front desk to tell him he was here on the wrong day and then he creeped me out because he started hitting on me!

I came back to my desk and told Milton how this old dude had hit on me all creepy-like.

Me: You know, I try to help people out and this is how they repay me!

Milton: Well I think it’s flattering.

Me: Noooooo the dude is like forty!

Milton: Well that’s not too old—

Me: Uh-huh! I just looked up his age and he’s 42! OLD! Ick!

Milton: [stands by my desk and gently asks] How old are you going to be this year?

Me: Thirty- [complete and utter horror at the HOLY SHIT realization] -NINE! Aw man! I’m old too!

Where did the years go? Where?


  1. She's probably confusing Mexico with Ethiopia, where they celebrated New Year last Sunday.

    It's an easy mistake to make - after all, both countries are in the Northern hemisphere.

    Does Glynda ever get lost on her way to work?

  2. Oh dear. Glynda needs to take a stupid pill to improve her intelligence. :)

    42. Oh yeah. That's old.


  3. Maybe she confused it with the Jewish New Year which is also in September? Oh who knows!

    !!Feliz dia del independencia!!

    40's old???? Oh crap!

  4. she's probably been talking to Milton too much

  5. I was going to ask you the same question but Milton beat me to it. :P

    I had one of those "dirty ol' bastard" moments here a while back too. I thought an actress was hawt and looked up her age. She's 23 and I felt, well... 'nuff said.


Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.