Glynda (to me): What did you do for Mexican New Year?
Me: … ::blink blink:: I’m sorry, what did I what for what?
Glynda: Mexican New Year. I read in the paper that it was Mexican New Year over the weekend.
Me: Uh, as far as I know Mexican New Year is still on January first but maybe I didn’t get the memo? [smiles to tell her I’m just kidding] I think you meant Mexican Independence Day but that’s today.
Glynda: [giving me a look that says I must be a part-time Mexican and not “all there”] I’m pretty sure they said it was MEXICAN NEW YEAR.
Me: Well, I guess I’ll have to check with my fellow Mexicans and update my Aztec calendar. [hangs head in shame] I wonder when the Mexican Independence Day will be celebrated now that we have moved our New Year [puts hand on chin to imply deep thought] will my birthday be in the same month! I need to call a meeting!
Glynda: So I guess you’re mocking me?
Me: Maybe just a little.
OZ is off today which is awesome for many reasons but mostly because he’s taking his douchiness on the road but also because this means no patients. Or so we thought until a stray one walked in who thought his appointment was today. He also happened to be a Spanish speaker which does not say much for “my people” because I already dropped the ball on the whole Mexican New Year thing so I went up to the front desk to tell him he was here on the wrong day and then he creeped me out because he started hitting on me!
I came back to my desk and told Milton how this old dude had hit on me all creepy-like.
Me: You know, I try to help people out and this is how they repay me!
Milton: Well I think it’s flattering.
Me: Noooooo the dude is like forty!
Milton: Well that’s not too old—
Me: Uh-huh! I just looked up his age and he’s 42! OLD! Ick!
Milton: [stands by my desk and gently asks] How old are you going to be this year?
Me: Thirty- [complete and utter horror at the HOLY SHIT realization] -NINE! Aw man! I’m old too!
Where did the years go? Where?