Friday, September 16, 2011

Bizarro Friday

Glynda (to me): What did you do for Mexican New Year?

Me: … ::blink blink:: I’m sorry, what did I what for what?

Glynda: Mexican New Year. I read in the paper that it was Mexican New Year over the weekend.

Me: Uh, as far as I know Mexican New Year is still on January first but maybe I didn’t get the memo? [smiles to tell her I’m just kidding] I think you meant Mexican Independence Day but that’s today.

Glynda: [giving me a look that says I must be a part-time Mexican and not “all there”] I’m pretty sure they said it was MEXICAN NEW YEAR.

Me: Well, I guess I’ll have to check with my fellow Mexicans and update my Aztec calendar. [hangs head in shame] I wonder when the Mexican Independence Day will be celebrated now that we have moved our New Year [puts hand on chin to imply deep thought] will my birthday be in the same month! I need to call a meeting!

Glynda: So I guess you’re mocking me?

Me: Maybe just a little.


OZ is off today which is awesome for many reasons but mostly because he’s taking his douchiness on the road but also because this means no patients. Or so we thought until a stray one walked in who thought his appointment was today. He also happened to be a Spanish speaker which does not say much for “my people” because I already dropped the ball on the whole Mexican New Year thing so I went up to the front desk to tell him he was here on the wrong day and then he creeped me out because he started hitting on me!

I came back to my desk and told Milton how this old dude had hit on me all creepy-like.

Me: You know, I try to help people out and this is how they repay me!

Milton: Well I think it’s flattering.

Me: Noooooo the dude is like forty!

Milton: Well that’s not too old—

Me: Uh-huh! I just looked up his age and he’s 42! OLD! Ick!

Milton: [stands by my desk and gently asks] How old are you going to be this year?

Me: Thirty- [complete and utter horror at the HOLY SHIT realization] -NINE! Aw man! I’m old too!

Where did the years go? Where?

5 comments:

  1. She's probably confusing Mexico with Ethiopia, where they celebrated New Year last Sunday.

    It's an easy mistake to make - after all, both countries are in the Northern hemisphere.

    Does Glynda ever get lost on her way to work?

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  2. Oh dear. Glynda needs to take a stupid pill to improve her intelligence. :)

    42. Oh yeah. That's old.

    Pffft.

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  3. Maybe she confused it with the Jewish New Year which is also in September? Oh who knows!

    !!Feliz dia del independencia!!

    40's old???? Oh crap!

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  4. she's probably been talking to Milton too much

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  5. I was going to ask you the same question but Milton beat me to it. :P

    I had one of those "dirty ol' bastard" moments here a while back too. I thought an actress was hawt and looked up her age. She's 23 and I felt, well... 'nuff said.

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Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies.