Thursday, May 31, 2007

LIPSTICK



LIPSTICK


So I went to lunch at the same time as the Purple Dino-SOUR today and she was having a sandwich. She normally wears this bright pink lipstick as do allot of women (and maybe some men, I don’t judge) in her generation. I am calmly eating my Lean Cuisine, you know hoping to drop a couple of pounds before July (for some reason I drop them but keep picking them up!) any-who I notice her sandwich has a bright pink stain in the shape of her top lip…


Please please please tell me what I can do to never ever have that happen to me! She was happily eating her lipstick on whole wheat while I was trying hard not to gag! I’m sure this has happened to someone else but what do you do? Do you wipe it off the sandwich? Do you turn your sandwich over so that no-one else notices (but then you might have the bottom lip tattooed to that side)? I guess the best thing to do would be to wipe your lipstick off before you eat and then re-apply when you’re done...? These are things our mothers should teach us along with how to know when you have bad breath and how to clean up after yourself when you've 'sprinkled' on the toilet seat (public bathrooms also make me gag).


Am I the only one that finds this disgusting? Now, I know I’m giving you guys the opportunity to bash me as being petty and I’m okay with that but just thinking about it now gives me the heebie jeebies!

On a side note my Lean Cuisine meal was really tasty.

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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

The Humor Bloggers



Politics By Satire
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THE GROOVIES

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My official seal of approval.





*"Bee, she doesn't cause elbow sweat."*-Bee

*"...the layout reminded me of some emo 14 year old that wears his girlfriend's jeans"*-Reviewer
*"I will read Bee's Musings no matter what the template is like, even if it blinds me."*-Jean Knee

*"I don't think you are lame. I think you are fantastica!"*-NCS

*"Although I have no idea what you're talking about most of the time, I could never think you were lame."*-Tracy


*"Bee - Does that mean I have the mentality of a 4 year old?"*-Brian
*"YOU ARE EVIL. First, the shoe wheel link doesn't work and then you TRICKED me into clicking on a humor-blogs link! Where does the shoe wheel go? And how do you get them out of the wheel? And why are you eveeeeeeeel?"* -SUZY

*"What did I ever do on the Internet without you. I look for new blog enteries before I look for new email. "*-M
*"People don't know what they should do with hotness like ours, Bee. We fluster mortals."*-FADKOG

*Bee: You are well deserving of many awards. If I could create them, I would. But I can barely make a grilled cheese sandwich. But, if I could make them:
"Coolest shawty east of Crenshaw."
"Best avatar not to receive an NC-17 rating."
"Best legal use of crunchy white stuff."
"Founding member of the 'Paul Giamatti is a Dumbass' Fan Club"*- Sensei
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Pick a worthy cause…



So some lady is offended by a Billboard in Glenview showing some woman on a beach with arrows pointing out improvements on her body courtesy of a beauty salon medical day spa. She is now campaigning to have it removed (the billboard not her body) and for that I say there are 20 million other campaigns she could be heading that are not as time wasting as this one.
There are a bunch of billboards out there that bother me (like the Giordano’s one cuz it makes me want a very fattening delicious yummy pizza) but you know what, you have to choose your battles.
I guess I shouldn’t be judging her too harshly if this is the battle she chose but I would think sex offenders, education, the war, global warming, the enviorment, gas prices, politics, religion (although politics and religion could be combined with some of these other topics) just to name a few are worthy enough causes.
Her argument is that teenage girls should not grow up thinking that they are judged by their appearances. I hate to wake her up to reality but the cat is out of the bag! Just pick up a magazine, watch TV or go see a movie. Is it right? No, but in this day and age I’d rather know I can go somewhere to have minor things that make me self-conscious improved. Teenage girls will be subjected to judgments at school by guess who? Other Teenagers… I don’t want to trivialize peer pressure because I know it’s getting worse but if this lady has a daughter imagine what she’s going through now when her friends find out what her mom is doing…
If she hadn’t decided to pick this crusade I and the rest of the state would not have been aware of this billboard. FREE ADVERTISING! :o) I’m seriously writing the Docs name down so that I can save it for later… who am I kidding I need it now!

STAY TUNED!
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