Till Next Week!

I will be on vacation be sure to click on The Dramatic Chipmunk below cuz it's hilarious!

We talked about Cheese why not Crackers??

The saga continues!

Today was Scarecrow’s turn for treats and she brought coffee cake, chips ‘n dip and cheese spread for the left over crackers that Cowardly Lion brought last week.

I don’t know what lucky star let’s me be present when these things happen (I think God does have a sense of humor after all) but…
I was in the kitchen getting my daily fix (coffee) when Scarecrow says ‘where’s the box of crackers?’ I SIGHED ‘:: HERE WE GO AGAIN ::!’
Scarecrow opens the cupboards, looks on the bench seat and under the table but these crackers are nowhere to be found. This time I kept my mouth shut and walked away.
I come into the office and tell Milton ‘Scarecrow is looking for the crackers...’ thinking she would think it was funny too…BIG MISTAKE!
Milton has a fit because she was the one that finished the box but she claims there were only “crumbs” in it. She heads to the kitchen and I of course followed because I needed to complete my study of “people who go off their rocker due to lack of snackable items”
This is what happened:
Milton to Scarecrow: ‘You know, I didn’t have a fit when the cheese was thrown out!’ (Yes she did)
Scarecrow: ‘I was counting on the crackers for the cheese spread, now what am I gonna do?’ (umm… we’ll live)
Milton: ‘If it’s that big of a deal I’ll leave right now and go buy some!’ (Yes let’s focus on that instead of our jobs)
Glynda: ‘I’ll walk over to the Mini-Mart and buy some…’ (NOOO! Not you too!)
We start work at 8:00 by this time its 8 forty-frickin-five and we are still in the midst of the cracker dilemma! (Yes, I know I could have gone back to my desk but then how would you guys know what happened?)
The solution? Glynda the Office Manager walked to the Mini-Mart to buy crackers.
If I would have been in charge I would have thrown out all the snackies and said ‘NO SNACKS FOR YOU!’

On a brighter note…
I have today and tomorrow and then I’m off on vacation! Woohoo!!!
My little brother Checo is marrying Esmeralda in Mexico and there will be nothing but parties!

Who Moved The Cheese???

Sometimes I think there are hidden cameras and our office is being broadcast across the universe as the number one sitcom. No way could writers script the stuff that goes on here.
Glynda asked me if I wanted summer help this year. I told her yes, since we were down one person, she could probably help the whole office. She started yesterday. Nice young lady probably in her late teens and a college student. I asked her to start training with Cowardly Lion (CL/Receptionist) so that CL could learn and take on some of Purple Dino-SOUR’s work. CL thought this was a great idea last week but then changed her mind Friday so I had to tell her tough cookies (in a semi-nice way). Anyway I digress.
We will call the new young lady Dorothy since she seems nice and intelligent (although in my opinion that character was a little naïve).
Flashback to Thursday, Glynda decided to clean out and defrost the mini fridge. While she was chipping away at the ice she punctured the little freezer thing, White smoky stuff came out and it made a horrible noise. The little fridge was dead. Every Thursday it’s the designated duty of “The Kitchen Marm” to bring treats and since it was CL’s turn she brought cake, cheese and crackers.
Flash Forward to Monday.
Dorothy and I happened to have lunch at the same time. We’re sitting there talking about skiing or something when suddenly…!
In comes Milton, she opens the mini fridge and says ‘who threw out the cheese?!’ She looked at me I shrugged I don’t know. She stands there glaring and started muttering. She picks up the phone in the kitchen and pages the CL. ‘did you take your cheese home?!’ CL said no. Milton then started saying how people have no regard for anyone and it was allot of cheese to be thrown out. I said, very carefully so as not to scare her into attacking me, ‘the fridge is broken, if the cheese stayed in there over the weekend it was probably bad by now.’
Milton said ‘I’m not a picky eater and if I haven’t died by now for eating bad cheese I don’t think I will.’ (she really said that) I said, ‘right, you haven’t died but diarrhea is not a good thing to have just for a couple of slices of cheese.’ she said she thinks it was Scarecrow who threw it out so now she’s going hunting!

I looked at Dorothy and said ‘my life and welcome to it!’ she sweetly said ‘Wow, at least now you’ll have someone younger than our moms to talk to!’ I could have hugged her but I had to let her know I was the grand old age of 29 hrump! okay 34.

Top that “The Office”!

I wonder if one of my coworkers has a blog that complains about me…? If anybody comes across a blog that talks about a Napoleonesque Tyrant let me know.

Dangerous Haircuts and The Gay Pride Parade!

So I went to get my haircut on Saturday (before the jokers start, yes I got them all cut). Now, in allot of cases, a woman’s main source of vanity is her hair. In my case it’s about 70% so it is mine anyway (the other 30% are my shoes).
I love having long hair, I love styling it in different ways depending on what outfit I’m wearing. I like it when I’m going somewhere casual (campground) and asking my sis to braid my hair. This all ended on Saturday June 23, 2007 at approximately 9:45 A.M.

Where were you?
My trusted hair stylist did something dreadful! He gave me a weird shaggy mullet style that the last time it was “popular” was in the 80’s-90’s. Since my hair is naturally curly, I’m talking about layers, bangs and feathered hair here.
On Saturday I thought ‘okay, tomorrow when I shower and style it myself it’ll be better’

WRONG!
On Sunday I’m thinking ‘okay, today was humid so it made my hair curlier but tomorrow it’ll be fine once I style it and put make up on and dress up nice for work.’
WRONG!
I had to put on hairpins up the wazoo, enough hairspray (non aerosol by the way) to stop a speeding bullet and it still looks like crap!
Normally I would have called my hair stylist and given them hell but frankly I’m a little scared of mine. He’s told me stories of fights he’s had in various clubs and at the Gay Pride Parade so… yeah…
I’ve been going to him for years now and the majority of the time I’m happy with my hair but this time I could just scream every time I look in the mirror (jokers: no, it’s not my face that scares me)!
GROAN GROAN GROAN!!
Now my only options are kicky hats and head scarves, hmmm... I don’t think I can pull either off. Maybe a nice wig?
I hope he’s not reading this because I’ll have some groveling to do when I go back to him.
Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment!
Maybe I should just Rock this style and claim it’s “in”, all the ladies here try to be like me so can you imagine all of them in their late 50s early 60s going for the Bon Jovi look?

P-R-I-C-E-L-E-S-S!

Fat Bird

Had a nice little backyard fire Saturday. It was a gorgeous day the temp did not go above 65 degrees. The Cicadas were nowhere to be found but they're back today! I also have acouple of videos of a big birdie in my bird bath

This bird was hogging my bird bath. The noise in the background are the Cicadas, loud aren't they?? I couldn't get closer or else the bird would have flown away. The quality isn't to great because I had to use my regular camera.

Marriage Pains

It’s finally Friday! Jeez! How many days came in this week anyway? I think it was like 15 days! Isn’t there a rule against adding days without notifying the proper authorities? Who should we lynch?

So as you know I went to bed really late last night and my better half was not pleased at all (as I predicted).

I have another question/observation for the panel.

Husband Andy doesn’t like the blankets on him when it’s warm outside (the operative word here is ‘outside’). We do however turn our central air on so the temperature outside stays outside and our house gets chilly at night. I cannot for the life of me sleep without at least a sheet on me. Here is the argument… I mean, loving disagreement.

Bee (by the way I was cranky so excuse my mood): Andy, I can’t believe you turned the air on! It’s 60 degrees out-flippin-side! You should have left the windows open!

Andy: ::long suffering sigh::

Bee: Now I’m gonna be cold.

Andy ignores me and goes into the bathroom. He comes out and gets into bed but lays ontop of the blankets.

Bee: Can you please get under the blankets so that I may cover up when I get cold?
Andy: I can’t believe you’re cold!
He doesn’t budge.

Bee: Should I just get up and get a sheet for myself???

Andy: No (he is a man of few words)
He still doesn’t budge.

Bee: GRUMBLE GRUMBLE GUMBLE!!!

I yank the sheets but now they’re twisted weird and half my torso isn’t covered.
I then flailingly kick at the mattress little kid tantrum style and this gets the proper reaction from my beloved.

He pulls the blankets off his side and let’s me cover up.

Now, please disregard my mood because this is an argument we have at least 2-3 times a week so it’s getting to be a sore spot for both of us, if anyone has any suggestions as to what would be the compromise please let me know. And by the way I have suggested seperate beds and that has not gone over well so don't suggest that.

Tomorrow's topic: How do you push your spouse off your side of the bed?

P.S. Whoever takes my side gets a cookie.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

I had another stressful day at work today. Which brings me to my question that I hope someone can answer.

Why is it that when you tell your co-workers something like 'I've been so busy I haven't had time to pee' as you're power walking towards the bathroom they take that time to tell you a story that might as well have been the Iliad?

Then they get mad at you when you cut them short using my handy dandy new made up word 'Jabammello! I said I had to pee!' As you hip hop over to the bathroom.

Every single lady I work with--EVERY SINGLE ONE--has issues with cutting their stories short and just telling me the basics!

I don't care if little Paulie's friend knows someone who knows someone whose father once worked at NASA and now they have tickets to the first flight to Mars.

Just say this 'Paulie is going to Mars' and I will respond 'It's about gosh darn time!' then I would be on my way without having to reattach my eyeballs that have floated to the top of my brain because I've been 'holding it' for hours!

Jimminey Crickets people cut your frickin stories short!

One time I asked Milton something the rest of us would consider a simple and innocent question

'Does your husband open the windows when he gets home?'

Her response (true story):

'I never make it a habit of leaving my windows open when no-one is home or when we're sleeping because I always think someone is going to break in. I have one window facing the front room another one in the kitchen and one that is in the bathroom although that one is a little higher but I think that if they stand on the awning they could probably maneuver themselves into the window. The ones upstairs are a little harder to reach but you figure if someone wants to get in, then they can find a way to get in so I try not to leave those open either. One time I forgot to close the one in the kitchen and I found a little piece of something black in a glass of water I left in the sink and I couldn't figure out how that had gotten there...'

She went on but to tell you the truth I zoned out! Now, ask me if she ever answered my original question and I'll tell you that I have no idea nor do I give a flying crap if she did or didn't!

How about this one from the Scarecrow.

Me: 'I heard you went to Wildfire, was it good?'

Scarecrow:

'This actually wasn't my first time at Wildfire I first went there a couple of years ago with Cecilia, John, Goober Doober, Donkey head, the Flintstones and Dino. I remember we ordered everything together but when the bill came everyone decided to split it in equal parts which was fine by me because I ordered so many drinks and got so drunk I mistook a plant for my purse and walked out with it on my head!' okay that last part was added by me but I'm just trying to illustrate that I zoned out again because she never ANSWERED my question.

As I'm typing away at 11:30 pm and husband Andy is asleep on the couch (just so you know it's past my bed time and he's gonna get pissed when I wake him up and tell him what time it is) I realized I am turning into them!

I've been rattling on like a looney tooney!

::sigh::

I will comfort myself by saying this 'yes, but when I do it, it's to get my point across and educate the masses. Well the 3 people that read my blog anyway. Well 2 cuz I guess I can't count myself...'

Babe, please win the Lotto so I don't have to turn into one of my characters!

Who would I be I wonder?

Venting time!

Cast of characters:
Purple Dino-SOUR: Co-Worker
Milton: Co-Worker
Glynda the good witch: direct boss

Scarecrow: X-ray Tech

Wizard of OZ: Big Kahuna Boss

Receptionist: Cowardly Lion


So my Co-Worker the Purple Dino-SOUR (PD for short) did not come in this week after all. She is taking care of her husband who had surgery and they thought one week recovery would be all he needed but it turns out he needs more recuperating time so I feel really bad for both of them. Okay now that I got that outta the way…

Guess who is taking over her duties…? ME! So on top of my work, I have to do hers too! Am I getting a break from my duties? No, not really I’m expected to do all my work and hers. Not only that but when something she normally does isn’t done they look at me like ‘whydya drop the ball’ and I’m like ‘umm, I didn’t know about that…’
Just to clarify I was never trained to take care of her desk so I don’t know everything it entails. I know her desk isn’t hard to take over but there are allot of little nuisance things she does that there is no way I would be aware of them unless I was sitting right next to her watching her every minute of the day and writing this stuff down.
For example today:
The receptionist ran out of appointment cards and was like ‘do you know if there are anymore?’ I said ‘no, why would I know.’ her response ‘well PD orders these and I’m running out’ I said ‘then you better order more because I don’t know how to do it nor do I want to learn’ her answer was ‘well that’s not the response I was looking for’
Now the last time I checked my boss was not the receptionist so all I can say is stick those appointment cards where the sun don’t shine dear!
You know, PD hasn’t even had the courtesy to call and say when she might be coming back. She just called Sunday and said her husband had an appointment on Monday so she couldn’t come in. I think she is just assuming her job will be here no matter how long she’s off so what is the point in calling. Any other place would have had an issue with this and either started looking for a replacement or told her she has take a leave of absence or something! Instead it’s handled by Glynda (the good witch) asking me if I’ve thought to run so and so reports and pick up PD’s messages.
::sigh::
I guess the reason I’m so ticked off about this too is because if I’m off one day when I get back I barely have time to turn on my computer before I’m asked a million questions and have piles on my desk that weren’t there the last time I was at work. Nobody takes over my desk when I’m not here and I guess it’s because it is more complicated than PD’s but for that very reason they should have a solid plan for when she’s not here and not use me as the dumping ground.
WTF!!!!
I know what everybody is thinking… Job Security! Yeah Yeah Yeah but right now I’m just venting.
Okay here is another vein of frustration. Milton knows the pressure I’m under right now but is she backing the F**k up? No! She is asking me about this account and that account so every time I pull up the accounts in question there are detailed notes from me in there so I say ‘did you read the notes?’ she's replies 'no, I thought you might remember off the top of your head.' so I say 'please tell me why I go thru the trouble of adding detailed notes if no one looks at them?' she laughed and shrugged her shoulders sheepishly trying to be cute and said 'I'm sorry I guess that should be the first place I should look for an answer'
Really? Well I'm glad that you learned something new considering you've been here 3 years longer than I have and lectured me on the importance of adding notes!!!!!!!!!!
All I can think about is Aerosmith's 'Crazy'

More new words from the the Trib

I found this info in the Tribune on some new word suggestions:

Hangry: When hunger morphs to anger -by 'Amy Reynaldo'

Invertibrats: people involved in spineless behavior -by ‘Gary Courington’

Drunch: brunch with too much liquor -by ‘no name’

Graybicle: Cubicle with no view -by ‘no name’

and the winner was:

Newsrotica: obsession with salacious news stories -by David Epstein

I think I like 'HANGRY' the best. I know tons of people that get HANGRY!

Made up Words

So Chicago hosted an Open Mic for New Words. You had to Say the word you came up with and give a definition and basically defend it once they questioned you. That got me to thinking about words that I would invent.

How about:

igduas = ignorant dumb ass
I guess that would be too hard to say so maybe it wouldn’t be that popular for anybody but me. 'Purple Dino-SOUR you igduas!'

noxopik = obnoxious pickle
Sounds good but when would you use it in a sentence? ‘John Boy broke my lamp, he is such a noxopik!’

jabammello = jabber motor mouth-HELLO- someone who won’t stop talking and you’re trying to get their attention 'Jabammello! Thank goodness, I thought you'd never shut up!'

logic = yeah, I know this one exists but people don’t put it to use!

You know what…?

I’m mean! :o)

®

Moment of Silence

Let's all have a moment of silence for Ceasar the Centipede...

He passed away this weekend due to severe exposure to bright light.

I can remember gazing at him and being overwhelmed with the need to look away due to his luminous personality.

Sometimes when he moved he would make me feel as if one hundred tiny feet were crawling on my neck.

I also hope his family has moved away so as not to meet the same fate.

Let's bow our heads and remember the many bright moments he brought us.

He will be missed by those of us who looked up to him.

FRIDAY -LATER AFTERNOON-

Okay so I want to just vent.
Why is it that people, who are Über responsible, treat the rest of us who are reasonably responsible like we’re nitwits??
I mean I have a job that I can say is very demanding, I work with large accounts and can problem solve my way out of a land mine but for some reason I’m still sometimes treated like a child that needs to be walked thru every step and instruction. It happens to me at work allot because, believe it or not, I’m the youngest one at the office but it really ticks me off when a certain person who shall remain nameless does it to me!

I only need to be given instructions once. I can follow them to a T without them being pinned to my shirt like notes our teacher would send our parents when we were in kindergarten!
GRRRRRRR!
I’m soooooo pissed off!

Friday Afternoon

Today started weird so I shouldn’t be surprised it’s continuing to be an odd day. My office has been on a somewhat vacation this week because the head honcho, the Wizard of Oz, took this week off. Added to that The Purple Dino-SOUR is off too so I’ve enjoyed this week allot thank you very much!
Now I don’t know whether to feel sad or happy that it’s Friday!
I’ll make a Pros and Cons list:

PRO: I’m off at 3:00 today since the Wizard isn’t here I don’t have my Friday meeting.
PRO: I told my mommy and Niece Natalia that we will be going to IKEA so I guess that’s a definite thing to look forward with the exception of…
CON: Spending too much money
CON: Monday marks the return of the Wizard and a continuation of our frenzied work life.
PRO: Dan and Marie are having a garage sale Saturday which will include yummilicious food (Hopefully Puerto Rican rice, hint hint)
CON: Monday marks the return of the Purple Dino-SOUR and her saccharine phony sweetness.
PRO: I get to wake up late (well to be honest, I wake up late everyday so maybe that one should only count 1/3 of a point)
PRO: Milton has been upset with Glinda (the good witch) all week so I don’t have to hear about it for 2 days.

OKAY Here is the biggest PRO of all!!!!!!!!! I just looked up at my ceiling seeking inspiration from the fluorescent light bulbs and noticed a millipede or centipede or whatever-the f**k-you-wanna-call-it-pede trying to get out of the screen thing that’s covering the bulbs!
It is seriously about an inch and a half long! WTF! That’s all I can think about now so I’ll be happy when I can get the hell outta here! It just keeps walking back and forth back and forth…
Okay, now anything that touches my face or legs is freaking me out! I took a pic of it with my cell phone but you can’t see it that well. SEE IT?

FRIDAY MORNING

So I woke up this morning earlier than normal because I had one goal in mind, stopping at Mickey Dee's to buy a Bacon-Egg-Cheese Biscuit with a hashbrown and LARGE Coffee. It's very rare that I eat anything from fast food restaurants but I figured since it was Friday I would treat myself!

So I'm walking to the entrance and this guy opens the door for me and says "hey there pretty lady" I say thank you as I walk in but I immediately get the heebie jeebies.

You girls know what I mean right? There are certain men that raise the little hairs on the back of your neck cuz you just know they're perverts!

Any-whoo...

There was nobody in line so I went to order. The guy then says 'well maybe I can buy you breakfast' I said 'no thank you' in a please buzz off voice but he persisted and by this time the dude that was taking my order was just looking at me like 'this guy is such a jerk' I rolled my eyes at my friendly neighborhood Mickey Dee's worker and said 'please give me the largest coffee you have!'

The pervert says 'so, are you off to work?' I look at him and say 'yeeees...' and then I keep staring at him with my 'if you don't f**k off right now I'm gonna smack you so hard you'll forget what planet you're on and start talking in that weird Star Track language!'

Then my buddy from Mickey Dee's gave me my order and I was out of there so fast I would have beat Superman. I got to my car before the dude came out and I think I owe that to my buddy who probably waited on giving him his food until I was safe.

The morals of this story are:

1) Have oatmeal in the morning no matter how tempted you are to eat something fattening!

2) Never underestimate your friendly neighborhood fast food worker cuz they got your back!

Dark Mood

I had a bad night last night.

I had trouble sleeping and now I'm crabby and ready to shred anybody that crosses my path (except Niece Natalia, she gave me air kisses this morning).

Isn't it horrible to have these types of days? I mean horrible for the people around you because just cuz you're a bear doesn't mean the rest of the peeps should suffer your wrath.

Well... maybe just a little like if they ask you if the coffee is done when your walking with a full cup of steaming black liquid, then they're fair game! 'No coffee isn't done, this stuff in my cup is molten lava I gathered from the Volcano in our parking lot!'

How about when people say 'oh, you're here' and you want to say 'no honey, old age is making you see things! I'm actually in Hawaii enjoying a Pina Colada'

Crabby Crabby Crabby!

Those of you who know me know I'm the oldest of my siblings... I don't think I like saying I'm the oldest... I'm the elder of my siblings? No that sounds like I'm in a cult!

Okay my mom had me first and then the rest of my siblings, yeah that sounds better. Anyway I think the big sister in me feels really useless when something happens to my little bros or sis and I can't do anything about it.

It's funny cuz they're all old enough to handle their problems but I still want to go in there with a wrecking ball and remove their obstacles so their path is easy and open. I think I need therapy cuz then I become obsessive.

Sometimes I wonder if all families are like mine. I mean we argue with each other, although it seems as though now that we're older we don't argue as much, but we are there to support each other no matter how crazy we think the other is. We have helped each other thru thousands of problems and have always been only a phone call away. I hope other people are as lucky as I am!

For those of you who need family support let me offer you to join mine.

First there's Sergio (Checo), he is the entertainer and no matter what he does you just can't stay mad at that turkey! His confidence in everything makes you feel like the world is conquerable.

Second is Danny, he is the strong, silent, tells you like it is dude. Have a problem he'll help you solve it!

Third is Nancy, she will go in and punch out anyone who says something bad about her loved ones and ask questions later. I call her the big guns cuz if you want to completely annihilate something or someone she's the one to call.

Fourth is Rick, he has an opinion about everything and if you need someone to argue your case he will have those people seeing double and agreeing with him just so he will stop talking. He is a big softy (even though he won't admit it) and is probably the most talented of the bunch.

The above are my siblings. Now on to the rest of the cast that makes this family unit complete.

My mommy who raised 5 smart-ass-know-it-alls almost single-handedly (with help from my Grandpa 'Papi Tino' and my Grandma 'Mami Pola' they played pivotal roles in our upbringing)

My husband Andy who keeps me both sane and insane (depending on the subject matter) Ying and Yang babe what else can I say.

There is sister-in-law Marie who is the life of the party and if I have to walk down a dark alley I want her to be one of the ones watchin' my back. (And also I wish I could be as organized as she is)

There is future sister-in-law Esmeralda who is kookier than Sergio. I wonder how they found each other amongst all the rabble rousers?! She's a CPS teacher and for that she has my respect although she is often quoted as saying she is only as smart as fifth grade...

There is brother-in-law Cameron the Texan, he is a great father to little Niece Natalia and anybody that makes Nancy laugh deserves a high five! (although I'd have to stand on a ladder to do it)

LAST BUT NOT LEAST IS...

Little Niece Natalia, she is only 4 years old but can hold a conversation with you and dissect the logic of your comments so that you understand that what you just told her doesn't make sense. Example:

Yesterday I gave her some potato chips and she stuffed like 3 in her mouth at the same time so I told her 'honey bunny, don't put that many in your mouth because your throat is only this big (with my right hand I made a small circle with thumb and index finger) and if you try to swallow all those, this will happen (I tried to stick all 5 fingers of my left hand thru the circle of my right hand) see how they won't go thru?'

I'm gonna tell you that I was pretty pleased with myself in giving her this example.

Well this little incarnation of everything good and beautiful in the world said to me.

'Tia Bee, when you put something in your mouth and chew on it, it turns into mushy stuff like this (she opened her mouth to show me the mushy stuff) and then you can swallow it like this (she swallowed). See it went thru.'

I almost fell off my chair with laughter! She got me! There are few people that can leave me speechless but she's the leader of the pack! She's got us all wrapped around her little finger!

You know what? I feel better. As cheesy as giving Homage to my family was, I feel a great deal better!

So Turkeys I'm happy to be a part of this somewhat functional family! I'd sooner live without my eyesight than live without you guys!

GROUP HUG! Get in here Marie!

Nana Pancha by Pedro Infante below

Your a Little Bit Country-I'm a little bit Rock and Roll!

Okay so is Country music "in" right now?

Admittedly I'm more into everything but country with the few exceptions of like Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson and Reba (because of her TV show that rocked!) oh I guess there's Faith Hill and Tim McGraw and I've been known to hum along to some Garth Brookes songs (wow I didn't realize I knew so many country singers!)

Any-whoo, I was listening to my station 101.9 in Chicago and they were talking about the (forgive me if I'm spelling this wrong) Bodonka-donk song and some song about looking for ticks and then they played 'Before He Cheats' by Carrie Underwood and I thought 'COOL SONG!' Husband Andy of course thought I was nuts and did not like the subject matter at all but now when it comes on I raise the volume and shake my fist at Andy, he knows...!

Then I was talking to my sister Nancy who married a TEXAN from Texas and we were talking about this song. She has become a big country music fan (she's even been to some concerts Toby somebody and some other dude) so she was making fun of me when her Texan said (John Wayne voice) 'Carrie Underwood ain't country, pilgrim' Just kiddin on the John Wayne thing but he did say she wasn't country soooo...

Am I a closet country fan? I do have a Shania Twain CD but I just bought it cuz of the 'Looks like we made it song'...

Nah, I can't be a closet country music fan right? I just appreciate music that tells a man exactly what they're gonna get if they cheat.

If I do start liking country music is there a pill I can take to get better??????

I kid, I kid because I love. Seriously guys I'm just kidding! Nancy don't send the big Texan after me! :o)

Talk to Y'all later!

P.S If you click on the title to this post it will take you to her video of the above mentioned song in case you've been living under a rock and haven't heard it.

RETRACTION RETRACTION!

After much investigating I found out that Brad Pitt was not in Chicago yesterday... Phew my one and only opportunity has not passed yet! I've got my fingers crossed for him to premier Jesse James here. Maybe we should start a petition... :o)

Bad Andy!

So those of you who know me, know I'm a huge (and I mean HUGE!) Brad Pitt fan and for those that just met me you are now aware of this fact.
My beloved, I would walk on hot coals for you, husband found out early this morning that Brad MY BRAD! was gonna be in Chicago today and guess what...? He didn't tell me!

So while I was at work doing useless things MY BRAD was in town! How did I find out? I logged into my blog and saw the You Tube link showing the cast of Ocean's 13 and said 'wait is that Chicago?' and my beloved, I would wrap the moon and put in a box for you, husband says 'Oh yeah, they closed so and so area since 11:00 AM cuz Brad Pitt was there!'

Now I remaind calm, I slowly turned and asked 'You knew and you didn't tell me?' his response 'What were you gonna do? you probably needed tickets from a long time ago.' I said 'Baby, I would have gotten in one way or another! I would have been there' he answers 'that's why I didn't tell you, I wanted to keep my wife's good name!'
Esqueeze me? Bakin Powder?
He is on my list man! The celebrity list pre-approved by all spouses! He is not only on my top five he IS my top five! I would not insult the list by settling for anybody other than Mr. Brad Pitt.

My opportunity is gone! Granted he has hot Angelina Jolie and I'm sure I pale (slightly) in comparrison but I know I missed my chance.

Don't worry guys and gals I'll get Andy back! If Jessica Simpson or Angelina Jolie are ever in town I will make sure Andy is no where near them!

Sorry Andy but if I don't have fun you don't have fun!

Disclaimer: Bee and Andy are reasonably happy together and would never cheat on each other under any circumstances...

Unless of course Brad Pitt comes back for an Ocean's 14 premeir. Don't tell him I said that.

Seriously WTF

I'm the HUlk again!
Your results:
You are Hulk

You are a wanderer with amazing strength. Hulk Click here to take the Superhero Personality Quiz

Come on, Do It!

Take this quiz to see how well you know me!

How well do you know me? Take my quiz! Take This Quiz See Scores Make Own Quiz

What super hero are you?

I took a super hero test and you will never believe who I am...!

You Are The Hulk

Super strong and super scary, you were never meant to be a superhero.You're not really into saving the world. And the world better get out of your way.

What Superhero Are You?

Fun Questions

This was on another person's blog and I thought it would be fun to post my answers here!



FOOD-OLOGY
1. What is your salad dressing of choice? Catalina
2. What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Portillos
3. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Yu's Mandarin
4. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant? 25% if good service I also worked in the restaurant business.
5. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Oatmeal
6. What is your favorite type of gum? Trident

TECHNOLOGY
1. What is your wallpaper on your computer? Brad Pitt (future husband)
2. How many televisions are in your house? 7 (sigh, husband needs it on in every room)
3. How do you listen to music? IPod, Radio, CD

BIOLOGY
1. What’s your best feature? Eyes
2. Have you ever had anything removed from your body? skin tags Yuck!
3. Which of your five senses do you think is keenest? Smell
4. When was the last time you had a cavity? Never
5. What is the heaviest item you lifted last? 5 gallon water jug(!)
6. Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope.

RANDOM-OLOGY
1. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? No.
2. Is love for real? sometimes...:o)
3. If you could change your first name, what would you change it to? I like my name
4. What color do you think looks best on you? Marooney
5. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake? BUGS!
6. Have you ever saved someone’s life? My husbands by marrying him he has a life... don't tell him I said that!
7. Has someone ever saved yours? I guess my husband and I are even cuz if I hadn't married him I'd be suffocated by shoes.

DARE-OLOGY
1. Would you walk naked for a half mile down a public street for $100,000? Yup, the punishment is for the people that have to see me.
2. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000? Well I have nine others so...
3. Would you never blog again for $50,000? Yup
4. Would you pose nude in a magazine for $250,000? walking posing same answer
5. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $1,000? I do it everyday :o)
6. Would you give up watching television for a year for $25,000? With the crappy shows they have now, no problem. I'd just tape Lost and watch it after a year.

DUMB-OLOGY
1. What is in your left pocket? nutin
2. Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie? Awesome Vote for Pedro!
3. Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house? Hardwood
4. Do you sit or stand in the shower? Stand...? Who sits in there?
5. Could you live with roommates? Unfortunately yes, I have a Husband,My mommy, 2 dogs and 5 fish
6. How many pairs of flip-flops do you own? 1
7. Last time you had a run-in with the cops? Thank goodness never!
8. What do you want to be when you grow up? An armadillo
9. Last friend you talked to? Jai
10. Last person you called? My brother Dan

MORE RANDOM-OLOGY
1. First place you went this morning? To the shower
2. What can you not wait to do? Go to Hawaii
3. What’s the last movie you saw? Knocked Up (VERY FUNNY)

Eating Habits of the Purple Dino-SOUR.

I know I have to get a life but when the majority of your conscious day consists of being at work, unless you’re one of the lucky ones that sends other people to work to support you or are wealthy enough to sit at home and do your nails (no, I’m not jealous!), there are a million little pet peeves you encounter.

I am sitting at my desk puzzling over a very difficult problem when all of a sudden I glance up because the Purple Dino-SOUR is unwrapping something. Oh it’s a granola bar. Okay I return to my problem… then I hear chewing. I say ‘sounds like your granola bar is really good!’ A smart ass comment that I hope will get my point across…
Nope! She smiles at me with her Bright Pink (we’ve established this) smile and her wide eyed stare and says ‘It has chocolate chips in it too!’ I say ‘coolio’ and keep working but by this point I’m obsessed with the eating of this granola bar. I look up again and see she is sitting there staring at a piece before putting it in her mouth. I ask ‘were you counting the chocolate chips?’
She smiles again and says ‘I was thinking I should buy more of these because they’re really good!’ Again my vain attempts to be a smart ass FAIL! I have never encountered a person who is so clueless.
It took her 25 minutes to eat this granola bar! How do I know you ask, well… My other co-worker had just gone to lunch and by the time she came back she popped the last little piece of much stared at granola bar in her mouth and said ‘Diddle Dee, I’m going to lunch.’ Okay the “didlde dee” was added by me but when she talks I hear things.
As soon as she leaves I tell my other co-worker what happened, I consider her to be my partner in crime and we can call her “Milton” (from Office Space ‘where’s my stapler’ fame), Milton looks at me and asks ‘was it one of those Quaker granola bars?’ I say ‘that is not the point…’ Milton says ‘I’ve had those Quaker bars and they are really good, did she throw the wrapper in her garbage?’ She proceeded to look through her garbage! YIKES! Who should we rely on to lead this insane asylum? It can’t be me of course because like said…
I hear things!

Cicadas!

Cicadas! Isn’t it amazing that these funny looking things only come out every 17 years??? My niece and I have been following their re-emergence and I’ve got to say that as amazing as they are, they are still gross, clumsy and (unlike other insects) pretty dumb.

We have them everywhere by our house but some people in our area say they have none. I wonder why that is...?

Anyway, here are some pics of the cuddly little creatures, yeah right! Click on the You Tube screen above to see the Chillin' Cicada.

The brown stuff at the bottom of the trees are the carcases.