Hi I'm Bee And I'm a BITCH!

After much thought I have decided I no longer feel like shit for making Milton cry.

Here's the scoop:

I had forewarned everybody that I had a busy day today. I said I have to do this that the other and prepare for my weekly meeting with the Wizard of Oz scheduled for 7:30 in the morning cuz he wanted to go fishing right after work. Yes, that's right fishing!

Milton is my supposed friend and she "sympathizes" with me regarding all the crap I have to do so you'd figure she would be the first to give me space right? Nope!

She has this soft little girl voice that when she's nagging at you, might as well be Chinese water torture or that whole thing where they stick bamboo up your fingernails.

At 9:30 she says 'I was wondering if you could give me this report when you run them later so that I can work on it.' I said sure no problem.

At like 11 she wanted help working on something that was the Cowardly Lions domain and I told her I was not gonna get involved.

At 12:30 she says 'don't forget, I need that report' I said 'as soon as I separate them I'll give it to you.' Meanwhile I'm thinking if she tells me about the report one more time I'm gonna flip out.

At 1:30 she stands behind me while I'm in the middle of (I'm not kidding here) stacks of charts, reports and paper, training Dorothy and says in her little girl voice a-la the old lady from Poltergeist. 'I really hate to bother you...' I said 'then don't, can it wait til Monday?' She walked dejectedly away but this didn't make her cry I could have understood if this made her cry but no... for some reason this was an acceptable response...

Dorothy leaves at 3 so I left the rest of the reports for tomorrow since she needed to be there so I could show her what to do.

At 4:05 Milton says Poltergeist lady voice again 'I know you guys got far on the reports and I was wondering if you had the report I asked for...?'

OH MY GOSH!!!!!!

I said 'It is on my priority list for TOMORROW!'

Her: 'why would it be on your priority list it's not that important'

Ladies and gentlemen... do you see what I have to deal with here? SHE SAID IT WASN'T IMPORTANT! She has the balls to sit there giving me a 'you're being silly' look!

Now a stronger woman probably would have shrugged and just had a nice big drag from the peace pipe but as I have pointed out... I HAVE VIOLENT TENDENCIES!

I mentally rolled up my sleeves and said: 'you have reminded me 3 times about the report...' she cut me off

Her: 'fine, I won't say anything again' in a huffy Poltergeist voice

Me: 'I don't need to keep being reminded...' cut off again

Her: 'you mean you remember everything? fine I won't ever remind you of anything ever again!'

At this point somebody walked in so I couldn't continue as soon as the person left I started again but I had myself somewhat under control (somewhat).

Me: 'what I'm trying to say...' CUT THE FUCK OFF AGAIN!!

Her: ' Bee, just drop it! Can't you just drop it!?' As she is stomping out of the room crying...

I sat there stunned because as I have admitted I have a habit of reducing grown women to tears. I don't try to make them cry. And I was mistaken cuz my tally is 5 grown woman and three younger ones because I forgot I also made the Purple Dino-SOUR cry earlier this year and another chick that I didn't see cry but they told me about.

So yeah, as I said I originally felt like shit but then when I replayed everything in my head, I thought 'wait a second what the hell did I do?' She was on my ass! Knowing all the shit I had to do that day. Her priorities are not my priorities. I have to do my work as it is important to me because Oz accepts no excuses. Then she tells me the report isn't that important...?

What the Hell! I think I should rename everyone after Alice In Wonderland characters cuz they're all definitely on something!

In order to save my sanity you're all welcome to send a monetary contribution. Just let me know and I'll send you info for my address.

Okay short funny story.

We had our office meeting today and we were discussing how Purple Dino-SOUR’s work is being done. Then Scarecrow says ‘well I hope Oz doesn’t decide to eliminate her cuz her work is being done without her.’
NO ONE SAID A WORD…
YOU COULD HERE THE ‘CHIRP CHIRP’ OF CRICKETS IT GOT SO QUIET.
I was expecting the PD brigade to be like ‘no, we can’t exist without her!’ but no one came to her rescue not even Glynda!

Watch out PD cuz the jig is up!

Okay as I’m typing this I made Milton cry.

Yup I sure did! I feel like dog shit eaten by a pig and then the pig took a shit and it was eaten by a bird and the bird took a shit and then it was eaten by another dog and then the dog took a shit. Yup! Now I have 4 older ladies to my count that I have made cry. So the tally is 4 older ladies and 2 young ladies.

More on that later.

Busy Busy Busy

So this is were I stand. Upon doing Purple Dino-SOUR’s work I have come across many many many errors. She also has not been DOING some of the things she’s supposed to. I have let Glynda know and have made a couple of suggestions. Like firing her frosted head but unfortunately it’s all up to the “man behind the curtain”.

Since Glynda knows I’ve been working my butt off (oh how I wish it was a literal statement) and to keep the peace she has let me know she is working on getting me a bonus for all my hard work.

At first I was like Yippee! but then upon tackling the excitement and beating it up a little, I thought back to a fellow blogger’s post who made an excellent point about band-aids.
While a bonus would be a great thing to get, in the long run a raise would be better. Here is my dilemma: do I accept the “bird in the hand”? Or do I buy a whacking stick and go after the “2 in the bush”?

Since I have violent tendency… I’m leaning towards the 2 in the bush but if he doesn’t give me a raise… I’m not gonna lie to you, it’ll make me really angry!

He had already made a decision this year that there would be no raises and since our raise last year consisted of pennies I was like whatever, in a year I’ll ask him for a $3 raise and if he doesn’t give it to me I’ll start looking for another job. The reason I set next year as a time frame is because Husband Andy and I will be a little more financially stable next year in case it takes me a couple of months to find something else.

So peeps, should I accept a bonus with quite dignity or should I choke hold a raise form the Wizard of Oz?????

My more cautious better half will say to stick to the bonus I bet.

Please click here for Band Aid Post.