I was just informed by Glynda that The Rapture (The Rapture is an event in the futuristinterpretation of Christian eschatology, in which it is posited that Christians will be gathered together in the air to meet Christ) is scheduled for May 21st of this year and that The Apocalypse (no explanation needed for the end of times) will be some time in October.
Me: Well, do we know exactly WHEN in October?
Glynda: What? I just told you they're predicting the end of the world and you want an exact DATE?
Me: Yes, that would be helpful. Andy's birthday is in October and he'll be angry if he doesn't get his birthday pumpkin milkshake.
Glynda: I know you don't like to take things seriously but the signs are everywhere! Did you hear about all those birds falling out of the sky??
Me: Do you think they committed suicide because of the looming Apocalypse?? ::sad face::
Glynda: it's not funny!
Me: Of course it's not funny! Here I thought I had until 12/12/12 to repent for all my sins and to stay on the straight and narrow once I did but now I'm gonna have to reassess my whole plan!
Glynda: you would be more afraid if you went to church regularly and knew what was coming!
Me: I think you just made my argument as to why I stay away.
Glynda: [leaves the room]
Me [to Milton]: I think I just stamped my pass to eternal damnation.
Milton: I don't even want to admit I know you at this point.
Story of my life.