You want something scary for Halloween?

How about the Jack-o-lantern my niece made?

Don't worry about me getting mold on my fingers since the lucky one stuck with the cleanup is my sister, the person who gave birth to adorable niece Natalia.

Kids: 1,234,765
Parents: 0
Bee: :o)

Mercury Falls A Novel By Robert Kroese. Who is Robert Kroese? You will soon find out!

I came home the other day to find 2 copies of Diesel's, or as his parole officer calls him "Robert Kroese", new book, Mercury Falls, on my dining room table.

It was like Christmas!

However, the fact that I received 2 books puzzled me. Knowing our history, I had to email him RIGHTAWAY to make sure he was aware he'd sent me 2 copies because one was addressed to "Bee Cor-" and the other to "Bianca Rut-" (both people are me)(we use the same head). I didn't want him to think I cheated, you know, again.

Diesel replied that he sent me 2 copies on purpose. One for being a snazzy dresser (he chose a winner via eenie, meenie, miney, mo) and the other for having a terrific disposition (I'm a Humor-Blog supporter). He also said I could do whatever I wanted with the second book.

Soooo being the ever generous, kindhearted person that I am, I decided to brighten someone's day and have my very first book give away!

[hold for applause]

Anybody can enter. All you need to do is email me at beesmusings @ gmail.com and your names will be entered in a bowl, or maybe a hat because all my bowls are dirty since I can't find a man-maid, and I will choose one winner. Don't worry, you don't need to write an essay telling me how much you hate love me. You don't need to have a blog or a dog or a frog you just need to have an email address and probably a computer. And an address where I may mail the book would help. You have until Sunday night November 1st to enter.

I haven't read the book yet because I'm waiting for the perfect weekend where I will be free to immerse myself in the apocalypse (YAY!) and have nothing else to do but shake in my slippers!

No, I'm sure it won't be scary. Hopefully?

Besides, the name of the book, Mercury Falls, made me think of a soap opera the whole time he was pimping it. Kinda like Melrose Place with better characters and writing.

Anyway! Once I read it, I will engage Robert Kroese in a Q&A and also give you a review of the book. In the meantime, enter to win. Send me your email. You have nothing to lose but your silverware!

*****Disclaimer!*****

The following people cannot win the book:

Anybody with the last name of Cor**** and its affiliates, Rut****** and its affiliates, people who already received a book from Diesel or have a pirated copy because pirates are scum. I don't care how many movies Johnny Depp makes!

Please tell me your worst birthday story. But nothing sad like "oh, my dog died on my birthday!" because then I will tell you that you suck.

Today is my little sister's birthday.

She turns the grand old age of... twenty-something.

She's getting to that age where we women hesitate to answer truthfully. Except for me. For some reason I start adding years to myself months before my birthday. It could be the old-timers disease everybody keeps talking about.

Anyway, I won't be the one to say how old she is today (but next year she'll be the big THREE-O).

Unfortunately for my little sister, she is spending her birthday at jury duty! Boo! 

Don't misunderstand me, I'm all for people doing their civic duty (as long as it's not me being inconvenienced) but it sucks when you're stuck doing it in the worst part of the city (County Jail!!) on your birthday!

So, lil sis, if you're reading this now, while you're stuck sitting next to an over perfumed man in a business suit who keeps looking sideways at your boobs and a woman smelling of BO and cat urine, please know we're all thinking of you (as we sit in comfortable chairs while sipping coffee).

Happy Birthday, Nancy! And give 'em hell!

That's me and her, she and I,  dressed up for a special occasion I can't recall... a wedding maybe? I'm singing to her and for some reason she's laughing. It can't be my voice?

Also, she is going to kill me when she sees this picture but I think she looks cute with her little curlers and her teddy bear.

P.S.

Nobody make mention of the fact that her birthday is only a few days away from Halloween, okay? I think she's suffering enough right now since she's probably struggling to find a comfortable spot in those crappy plastic chairs while balancing a book and her Mochachacaca from Starbucks.