Thursday, October 9, 2008

Humor Bloggers Humor Carnival: Growing up 80s in California was radical, man! Totally tubular!





Growing up 80s

I like to refer to the 80s as my carefree years.
When 1980 hit, I was 7 or 8, depending on the month I guess. No, the majority of 1980, I was 7 and when November came, I turned 8 so I was only 8 for a month and a half... I think?
WTF! I didn't sign up for this to do math!

Anyway, I left the 80s at the age of 17 (I'm PRETTY sure that's right). During that decade, I was a regular kid (although with the responsibilities of being in charge of 4 younger siblings) lets do a flashback and follow Little Bee through that decade.

80/81
Don't remember much other than my little sister Nancy was born and she pooed ALL THE TIME!

82/83
Uh, little brother Rick was born so we now had two 2 poop machines in the house.

84/85
I started junior high and learned to scale 10 ft fences before the warning bell rang.

86/87
Graduated junior high, started high school and learned to scale 12 ft fences. (was also constantly in trouble for things I will not admit to even now, one million years later!)

88/89
High School, started my senior year even though I kept getting suspended for lewd behavior.

So there you have it, my 80s in a nutshell.

Before I go, I'd like to say that for me, the 80s were all about the music, the hair and the clothes.

Some neon long blouses with leggings dancing to the Go-Go's. Some big word shirts dancing to Wham, Frankie goes to Hollywood and Duran Duran. Crazy lace skirts and off the shoulder shirts dancing to Cyndi Lauper, Pat Benetar and Madonna.

Damn! I did a lot of dancing! No wonder I was so skinny! [doing the "wake me up before you go-go" dance RIGHT NOW]

My music tastes then evolved to Twisted Sister, Gun's n Roses, AC/DC, Metallica, Def Leppard, Motley Crue, Led Zeplin, etc. but I'll always have those carefree, mullet, bright clothes wearing, dancing years.

Roller skates! I was also a great roller skater! Dammit, I could have posted about my awesome flamingo imitaions while skating!
It's too late now to re-do the post...
***
I do have some naughty growing up 80s stories but those are worth some mula (money) so I'm not sharing unless you can make it worth my while.
.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Why?

I have found a small wrinkle on my face and I'm not going to blog about it.

Nope.

You can't make me!


::cries::

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

The adventures of Mom the efficient robot and her slacker daughter, Bee. Some Andy too.

Okay, how different can mom and I be?

The other day, I was happily clicking (by clicking I mean blog stalking and/or wishing some people into oblivion)(for what it's worth, my wishes never come true so you have nothing to fear you douche bags that piss me off!)(unless we meet in person, then you better run faster than my little legs can)(sorry, still having crappy times @ Beeland) away while my mom watched TV in my living room. All of a sudden she gets up and says "I have a headache..." if you think her next words were 'I'm going to take a nap' you are as clueless as I am and now I like you better. What she said was "... I'm going to clean."

Uh seriously? Who does that?? My mom, that's who! This is the same lady that rearranged furniture all by herself when she was 8 1/2 months pregnant with me! Which might explain some things...

Let's imagine I have a headache and see how that scenario would have played out, shall we?

"Dammit! My head hurts!" click click scroll read more blogs "Gah! Will this torture ever end!!" pick up cell phone and call Andy who is in another room "Babe, can you bring me a couple of Advil and some Pomegranate juice? ... Because my head really hurts. ... Reading blogs. ... I know I'm closer to the kitchen but- okaaaay! I'll wait for you to kill another troll!" mutter mutter click click laugh laugh "Ouch!" pick up cell phone call Andy, hear Darth Vader's ring tone thingy in the distance "Head. Still. Hurts. ... Okay, I'll go lie down and I guess I can go get my own Advil and juice."

Get up, medicate myself while balancing laptop, extension cord and glass of juice.


Set up my laptop on the bed, turn on the TV, click click click click.

Not once, do I think 'I should tidy up the house'.

P.S.
I never said it was easy to live with me. I am a demanding short person.

P.P.S
While looking for a more attractive than myself picture of a women in bed with a red laptop (yup I am very specific in the images I bring forth onto you guys, you're welcome!), I came a cross this:

I shall call it "Woman on red balls"


Anyway, the website Pure Contemporary is abso-freakin'-lutely awesome! When I finally find a sucker kindly rich person to buy my liver, I will decorate my house from corner to corner in awesomeness!

P.P.S.
Things that pissed me off today:

Bee:
Andy, can you turn on the grill so it's hot when I come home?

Andy:
IT'S RAINING!

Bee:
Yeaaaah but I'm not asking you to stand outside the whole time! Just turn it on and then run back inside!

Andy:
...

Bee:
Ya' know what?? I forgot about your fear of melting! I'll do it myself!

2 hours after he ate the deliciousness which is my grilling.

Andy:
Mmmm! That was good Bee!

Bee:
It's a good thing I had my super anti-melting jacket on so that I may provide you with your meat!

Andy:
Asshole.
.
Okay it was just one thing.

Humor-Blogs, they have no fear of water.