Bee's Musings: My endless talent

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Showing posts with label My endless talent. Show all posts

Showing posts with label My endless talent. Show all posts

Monday, December 14, 2009

You know how sometimes you want to do something because you think "how bad can it be?" and then your brain tries to talk you out of it by reminding you of that one time you shoplifted and your mom spanked you so hard the brand name of her shoe is still stenciled to your ass? Yeah, it's like that!

I am an intelligent person. I swear I am. But sometimes oh my lord can I make stupid decisions! It all started a week ago when I was ...

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

I am going to start charging a separate fee when I translate sign language.

A long long time ago, when I was just a *little Bee*, my Spanish was horrible. (Isabella)(she's always mad at me)(like I bother her)...

Monday, October 12, 2009

... it's just another manic Monday!

Man, today hit me like an out of control granny driving a tank and chewing bubble gum. I really don't feel like getting into the the i...

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

My reign of terror at the Laundromat? It comes to an end!! (Shoots off confetti at the audience!)(Hopes nobody gets it in the eye)(except maybe YOU right there!)

This past Saturday morning, Andy and I woke up extremely early SIX-THIRTY! He got up and put on his big boy pants so he may take the dogs ou...

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Man + Woman + his and hers computers = Harmony.

As some of you may know, Andy and I have been married for over 8 years. (EIGHT LONG YEARS) I personally think people should go through som...

Monday, August 17, 2009

A mile in my shoes.

So, lately I've been feeling a little depressed. It's mostly due to XYZ health issues and ABC medications. I know you wouldn'...

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

If she bends over, you'll know what year she was born. Also, see a duck mooning the crowd.

We went to the Laundromat again on Monday. I think we all know how much I detest that place . Every time we go, something happens that infur...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

War— I mean WORK stories.

It’s been a while since I regaled you with the adventures of Arkham Asylum. Today we will feature: Milton (female), the bookkeeper (one of...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Now you'll know what I sleep in... and it's not a coffin you jerks!

You know what this is? This is a picture of my warm, cozy pajama bottoms*. I have puppy pjs, moon and star pjs and skiing dude pjs. Tha...

Thursday, June 4, 2009

"I think I've lost my penis"

As some of you may know, I'm a huge fan of Man vs Wild with Bear Grylls. Well, I watch it because I love to mock the host's obsessio...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

The mysterious case of Michael Bublé (or as I like to call him Mr. Facial Expression Exaggerator Sinatra Wannabe)

So, like all good citizens of the world, I have an iPod. It was given to me by the generous and talented man I live with on one of my many b...

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I'm down with OCD! Yeah you know me!

You know how I'm always talking crap about the bats (ladies I work with)? I'm always saying how they're off their rockers becaus...

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

My house has windows. My car has windows. My office has windows. My bologna has a first name...

My friend Brian, I’m sure you guys have seen him around, did a post the other day talking about how much he hates Windows and how Linux is w...

Friday, April 10, 2009

If someone told me 20 years ago that I would get old, I would have laughed in their face and said "Shut up stoopit!".

Sooooo as you may or may not know I work for an Orthopaedic Surgeon’s office. I’ve complained mightily about all the crap I have to put up w...

Monday, April 6, 2009

A man, another man and a dog. + What is the penalty for stealing from a 6 year old?

Back in January, we had yet another snow storm here in Chi-town-land. It was what the kids call a doozy ! Well, if you were a kid in the 50s...

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